FIRST, THE DISCLAIMERS: I don't own Daria, MTV/Viacom does. I don't own anything worth suing me for, so please don't. I wrote these for fun, of a sort. May you have fun, of a sort, reading them.

NEON NIGHT

a Daria ficlet by wyvern337

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Sometimes decisions are made less... neatly...than one would expect.

Daria's and Tom's shirts, her blazer, his pants and all of their footgear lay in an untidy heap on the floor of Tom's room. He fumbled briefly with the catch of her bra before she unhooked it for him and it joined the pile. Daria gasped as Tom's kisses swooped lower, exploring new territory. Maybe it had something to do with how close to college -- and being separated from each other for months -- they were, but their usual after-date kissing had rapidly escalated into their heaviest, most intense makeout session yet. Her heart pounded as the knowledge of where this was going hit her, but Daria realized she meant every word as she whispered to Tom, "I'm ready."

"Are you sure about this?", Tom asked. "Daria, you're trembling like a leaf."

When Daria responded by pressing her body against his and drawing him into a long, deep kiss, Tom needed no further encouragement. Within moments the rest of their clothes had been shed, and it was time to bring out the protection.

At least he doesn't carry it in his wallet anymore, thought Daria, smiling slightly as Tom rolled over so his back was to her and rummaged in the drawer of his nightstand. The rustling quickly gave way to the sound of a wrapper tearing...a sound Daria listened to with her heart in her throat. So close....she was as ready for it as she'd ever be, but it was still so overwhelming...hard to believe this was really...it....

Suddenly Tom stopped what he was doing, and emitted a low, plaintive groan of dismay.

"Let me guess, it's defective,", said Daria.

"Um,no, actually..."

"What, then?"

"Uhhh...."

"Let me see."

before Tom could protest, hide it, stop her, or whatever, Daria bent around Tom's body to where she could see...and saw....

A bright green...neon....birth control device.

"I swear I didn't know..." Tom began, then closed his eyes and silently wished for the earth to open up and swallow him.

Daria emitted a low chuckle. Then another. Caught her breath, then let it out in a giggle. Then again. Then she laughed out loud and the floodgates opened. Daria shook with laughter. Her face reddened. Soon, tears were running down her face and she was finding it hard to breathe properly. All but convulsing with mirth, Daria curled up and rolled over onto her side...and slid off the edge of the bed, hitting the floor with a thud that seemed to shake the house. Looking down at her with concern, Tom was about to ask Daria if she was all right when she burst out laughing again, just as hard as before.

"It isn't that funny," protested Tom as embarrassment began to give way to mild annoyance.

"Yes...It...Is!" Daria managed to gasp out between assorted snorts and guffaws.

Okay, maybe not quite, thought Tom, but after a certain previous discussion he had to admit he could see the humor in it himself.

Finally Daria's laughter trailed off, she managed to catch her breath, and Tom helped her back up onto the bed. She snuggled up close to him and they held each other for a long time. "Thank you, Tom," Daria finally said. "I don't think I've ever laughed like that in my life."

"So I guess in a way I always will be your first."

"Don't get me started again."

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SPECIAL DELIVERY

a Daria ficlet by Wyvern337

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Although she didn't quite understand everything about what was going on, Daria had surmised that it was something important and, judging by the way her parents had been acting, even a little scary (which, to be sure, translated to a certain nervousness on Daria's part). They had left for someplace called a "hospital"and, though Daria had gathered that this wasn't entirely unexpected, when they left they had done so with more than a little agitation and in a considerable hurry, a fact which had not gone unnoticed by Daria and , to be sure, had her somewhat worried. This worry hadn't been helped by the obvious fact that Helen had been in considerable pain, but Daria had been somewhat mollified by their reassurances that this place was somewhere where her mother would be made better. Exactly what the problem had been, well, that was where the explanations got a little bit murky. Things had been said about something called a "baby sister", and attempts had been made to clarify, but although Daria was unusually bright and perceptive for her age, she still found the whole idea somewhat confusing. What she'd gathered was that, when her parents returned, they'd be bringing someone she hadn't met before. Helen had described this someone as "being to you like Aunt Amy and I are to each other", which Daria thought kind of sounded like it meant they'd be bringing home someone like Aunt Amy.

Daria liked the sound of that. Aunt Amy was one of her favorite people, and the fact that Amy was here now -- had been since her parents had left the day before -- took some of the edge off of Daria's nervousness. Right now Amy was reading to her, just the way she liked it -- seated in her aunt's lap, the book lying open on her own lap, with Daria in charge of turning the pages. They were nearing the end of the current story -- something about a place (an imaginary one, Daria suspected), an attic where all lost objects supposedly ended-up, when a noise outside caused them both to look up: Jake and Helen's car had just pulled up in the driveway. Daria's parents were home. Daria got up off Amy's lap while carefully handing the book off to her -- anxious to see how her mother was but still not wanting to lose her place. Amy stood up somewhat more slowly, working a few minor kinks out of muscles that had been sitting in one position longer than they really liked to.

Amy unlocked and opened the door while Jake was still fishing for his keys. The adults immediately started talking rapidly amongst themselves, but Daria didn't understand most of it and so didn't pay a lot of attention. The first thing she noticed, standing there looking up at her parents, was how tired her mother looked. The second thing she noticed was the pink-swaddled bundle in Helen's arms.

"Daria, there's someone I'd like you to meet, said Helen , crouching down to bring the bundle to eye-level for her daughter, "this is Quinn, your new baby sister".

"That's right, kiddo", Jake chimed in, "just look what we've brought you home from our little trip to the hospital!"

Daria peered closely at the little, bald thing gurgling there amid the folds of pink cloth. After a long moment, she slowly reached out and took hold of one hand, noticing its softness, how small it was compared even to her own. She then let go of the hand, and continued slowly looking this diminutive stranger up and down. Daria had to admit she really didn't see the resemblance to Aunt Amy.

Finally, Jake asked, a little nervously, "so, kiddo, whattaya think?"

Daria took a step back from Helen and Quinn, Helen straightening-up as she did so and , looking up at the adults, pronounced her verdict. Helen looked furious, Amy didn't quite manage to stifle a chuckle, and Jake just cringed. The adults' reactions surprised Daria. After all, they'd asked her opinion, and she'd provided them with it, openly and honestly:

"She's okay. You can take her back now."

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i like to read

a Daria ficlet by wyvern 337

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"You know, it must really be frustrating to her," said Amy.

"What must really be frustrating?" replied Helen, looking up from the book she was reading to her elder daughter.

"The way you keep turning the pages before she's through with them."

"I take as much time as I can, Amy. Even if I had the time to wait for her to finish looking at every picture before I turned the page I'd completely disrupt the flow of the story and she'd never be able to follow it." As if to emphasize what she'd just said, Helen quickly flipped the page she'd just finished reading from. With her attention focused on her sister, she didn't notice as Daria, who'd been squinting at the book open in her lap, frowned and first reached -- too slowly -- to try and stop her mother, then looked up at her in annoyance. "At least I take some time to let her look at the pictures -- when Jake reads to Daria he always turns the page as soon as he's finished."

"Are you sure it's the pictures she's interested in?" asked Amy, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Well of course it is," said Helen, "what else would she be looking at, at her age?"

With her mother's attention momentarily focused elsewhere, Daria was intently poring over the page before her.

"Well, hadn't you noticed the way she tends to want to linger the longest over the pages that have the most words on them -- including ones that don't even have any illustrations?"

"Amy, what're you getting at?"

"I'm beginning to suspect that Daria's at least begun to realize that the words're there on the page for a reason, and is trying to fathom what that reason might be. I'm even starting to wonder whether she hasn't realized that that's where the stories are coming from."

"Are you saying that maybe it's time I started teaching Daria to read?" asked Helen incredulously. "She's not even going to be four years old for another few months!"

"I'm suggesting more than that, Helen," Amy replied. "A lot of what actually goes on when people read is a recognition of word-shapes...if Daria's made the connection between the words on the page and the story, I think she might actually be starting to associate a few written words with their spoken forms."

"Teaching herself how to read?!" Helen had passed incredulous and was now genuinely astonished. "Don't be ridiculous!"

"Well, there's one way to find out," replied Amy. She took the book she'd brought to the Morgendorffers' house -- a belated birthday present and her main reason for visiting that day -- and, opening it, placed it on top of the book from which Helen had been reading. "Here's a simple one." Pointing to the first word on the page, she asked "Daria, can you tell me what that says?"

Daria squinted hard at the page. The blurry doubled image of the print swam into a kind of focus. Not realizing aunt Amy had meant just a single word, she began at the top of the page: "...aand....the-n...thhaaat ..cat....j-...juu-umm...ped...?.."

Sensing that something was not quite right, Daria stopped reading and looked up at the two adults. There was something about the way they were staring at her that, although she wasn't familiar with it, made her very uncomfortable. Had she done something wrong?