Disclaimer: This Daria and associated characters are
owned by MTV. This is fan fiction
written for entertainment only. No money
or other negotiable currency or goods have been exchanged.
Assumed
time line. Daria’s sophomore
year of high school ended in 1997, coinciding with the beginning of the
series. Hence, she would have been a
junior in 1997-1998 and graduated in 1999.
Started Raft in fall 1999, received a BA in 2003 and started graduate
school in the summer or fall of that year.
This is the third of a series
of stories set during Daria’s last summer in
Richard Lobinske
Succeeding
in Your World
After the mail carrier
turned and walked away, Daria closed the door with her foot, in her hands a
large box with a registered letter balanced on top. She quickly carried the stack to the sofa and
set it down. She removed the letter and
propped it on the coffee table to be easily seen. Turning her attention to the box, she cut the
twine with a pen knife and slit through the tape closing the outer paper
wrapping. “A package from Aunt Amy, this
should be entertaining”. With the outer
paper removed, she read the printed labels on the box:
“Amy Barksdale Dorm
Survival Kit”
“Useful, and possibly quite
deadly” Daria smiled as she unfolded the included letter.
Daria,
Congratulations on
your graduation and the academic award. I wish I could
have heard your speech, sounds like you got in some good ones. Nice to hear you have been able to
concentrate on your writing this summer.
Tell Quinn I said “Hi” and your mother that I will be thinking of her
while I’m in the
Amy
On a separate sheet of
paper, Daria read:
Dorm Survival Kit
Contents:
Eye shades
White noise
generator ear covers
Nose plugs
Book light
Hot plate
Sauce pan, lid and
serving spoon
Table knife, fork
and spoon
“1001 Dorm Recipes
for Hot Plate, Microwave and Toaster Oven, Revised Edition”
2
Single cup water
heater
Box of English Breakfast tea
1 Gross No. 2
pencils
Electric pencil
sharpener
Travel mug with lid
“Why do I have a feeling
that there is a story behind each item?”
She mused going through the box contents. "Better get this up to my room before I
leave for Jane's".
“Hello, anybody home”. Helen called as she came in the door early
that evening.
“I’m in the kitchen
Helen.” Jake called from the
kitchen. Helen was concerned when she
noticed his red apron when he poked his head around the corner. “Just fixing up some Curry
Chicken for dinner”.
Helen walked to the kitchen
as she spoke. “Jake, where’s the girls”?
“Daria’s over at her
friend’s, Quinn went to the mall.” Jake
pointed to a couple of notes posted on the refrigerator. “Daria also left a note that you have a
registered letter on the coffee table”.
Helen walked back through
the empty living room and picked up the letter.
“State Bar Association? Dammit, what the hell did I do this
time”?
The television in Jane's
room blared, “They hitched a ride in a container of old tires. Insect Illegal Aliens, Next
on Sick Sad World”.
The cordless phone resting
on the television rang; Jane looked up from her painting, set the paint brush
and palette down and picked up the phone.
“Lane’s Jail and Bail.”
Helen shook her head
slowly, “Hi Jane, may I speak with Daria please”?
“I’ll see what I can do
about prying her away from the laptop”.
Covering the mouthpiece as she passed the phone to Daria, “The
Mommadorffer requests your auditory presence”.
Daria gave a subdued cringe
at the pun before accepting the phone. “Hi Mom”.
“Getting some writing done,
don’t worry, deadline's tomorrow”.
“I was planning on having
pizza with Jane tonight”.
“Guess I can change plans,
let me check”.
Daria covered the handset
and asked, “Mind if I take a raincheck on pizza tonight, Mom has called a
mandatory dinner assembly for some kind of important announcement”.
“With how excited your mom
sounded, I think you better be there.
Though based on prior experience, you’re probably dreading the
announcement as much as I am”.
“You can say that again. Thanks Jane, I owe you one”.
“Mom, I’m on my way home
right after I save everything and shut down the computer”.
Once Helen had the family
settled (or as close as settled as they get), she held up the letter. “I have wonderful news”
“The bar association is
replacing all lawyers with robots”?
“Daria, even your sarcasm
isn’t going to bother me tonight.” Helen
was ecstatic and wasn’t bothered by her daughters comment. “The State Bar Association requested that I present
their Lifetime Achievement Award to Ms. Carol Murphey.”
Interest piqued, Daria
asked, “The same Ms. Murphey who has been one of the leading women’s rights
activists in the state for the last forty years”?
“Yes dear, that’s her. This is a very important opportunity for me
to make an impression before the entire Bar Association. This will also supply some nice outside
pressure to the firm to make me a partner.
The dinner is two weeks from tomorrow.
It is very important to me to have my family in attendance.” During the last sentence, she flashed
slightly narrowed eyes at both Quinn and Daria.
“Mo-om, I have dates
then. Don’t you want me to follow
through on my commitments”?
“Quinn, ordinarily I would
agree, but this is a very special event for me, please ask your young friends
to reschedule. Make sure you do it
quickly, that will make things a little easier.
I won’t take no for answer”.
“Ohhh. You know how
much this could damage my popularity”?
Quinn left the table and stalked up the stairs. “Time to control the damage
and not argue. When Mom gets that
voice, you just can’t win. I can’t
believe I’m starting to take clues from Daria.” Quinn
thought as she entered her room.
Daria was staring into the
infinity beyond the kitchen wall.
Helen’s attention was next turned toward her, “I suppose you have
something planned also”?
Daria shook her head
slightly as she exited her contemplation.
“Um, no.
I want to go.
“Oh, really?” Helen said with a note of distrust.
I admire Ms. Murphey’s
writings and she has an interesting view on life, I want to meet her”.
“Oh honey, that’s
wonderful.” I will make sure you have a
chance to see her. Since you didn’t go
to your prom, it will also be nice to see you in a formal gown for a change. Go ahead and use your new credit card and I
will cover the cost this time”.
“Formal gown?” was Daria’s
weak reply.
Later that evening, Quinn
faced her sister in the hall between their rooms, hands in the air in
frustration, “Daria, I want to help you”.
“I know you do, and you
don’t intend any malice over it. But if
I let you help like that, everything will be your decision. I just can’t do that”.
“Why not? You would look
good, and even you might learn something about being fashionable”.
“Can’t I have little
pride”?
“What do you mean”?
“Last summer, I watched you
maneuver Mom into getting you a tutor.
Smooth trick by the way. You
worked hard all summer to learn from David, and you kept at it to bring your
grades up last school year”.
“So what does that have to
do with me helping you shop for some decent clothes”?
Daria sighed, “You went
from your world of fashion and appearance and successfully charged straight
into my world of learning. You did that
on your own with no more than a couple of books and a little advice from me. Now, it’s kind of a matter of pride to me to
see if I can successfully go into your world, if only for a brief
appearance.
Quinn let a slightly smug
smile, “So, you’re jealous. I’ve done
something you haven’t been able to do’”
Daria gave a resigned glare. “As much as I hate to admit it, you’re
right. I also need to learn how to make
myself presentable for some occasions.
There are times when Lenny Bruce was right, ‘Time to grow up and sell
out’. I’ll learn that a lot better if I
make the choices”.
Quinn dropped the smirk and
continued seriously, “At lease you’re finally learning that. You’re right though, if I go with, it will be
my vision for what you should look like and not yours. Just please let me at give you some starting
advice.
“Deal. I’m never
going to like shopping much, so I want something that I can use for a long
time.”
Quinn smiled broadly and
spoke rapidly, “Daria, that’s a good idea.
You’re never going to be able to keep up with current fashion, so we’ll
go with the classics. That will look
best for you anyway. So, first thing we
do is avoid Cashmans, they focus on breaking fashion. Besides, you might run into somebody I know
there. We need to get you to a proper
boutique for a tailored gown. I know
just the place downtown”. Quinn
continued on as a look of impending doom spread across Daria’s face.
The next morning, a
sleepy-eyed Jane mumbled at the forbidding, backlit shape standing in the
threshold, “Hmmmrph”?
“Good
morning, oh Artist Extraordinaire.” Daria chirped using her “Quinn” voice.
“I am still dreaming”. Jane squinted and leaned forward in
confusion. “Or is it a nightmare?”
Returning to her normal
voice, “I bring offerings of liquid caffeine”.
Pushing a six-pack of Bolt Cola into Jane’s hand, Daria deadpanned
“You're going to need it”.
A short time later, two empties
sat on the kitchen table. Jane was
attacking a cinnamon roll with great enthusiasm and chasing with a third
can. "Now, what brings you over so
early, and why were you channeling the Duchess of Doubtful Taste"?
"I need your
help."
"Hmm, so what else is
new"?
"To
go clothes shopping".
Jane glared and downed the
remaining cola, grabbed a fourth can, pulled the tab and started on it.
"For
a formal gown".
Jane suddenly coughed, but
refrained from loosing any of the precious caffeine. She backed away with a frightened look and said,
"Daria, you're scaring me".
"Mom is presenting at
an awards ceremony for the State Bar Association, attendance has been declared mandatory,
and the dress code is formal".
"And you couldn't find
some way to avoid it"?
"I didn't really
try."
By then, Jane had backed to
the kitchen counter and rested her hand on a knife handle.
Seeing Jane's distress,
Daria slowly raised her hands and said, "Please move away from the knife,
I have not been replaced by a pod and there are no electrodes, to my knowledge,
implanted in any part of my anatomy. Mom
is presenting a Lifetime Achievement Award to Carol Murphey. I like her writings and want to meet
her. This looks like the best chance I
will ever have".
"Okay for now, but I
will be keeping an eye on you".
The two friends found the
recommended boutique without much difficulty.
Daria was dressed in a grey t-shirt and green shorts, Jane followed in
one of her black v-necks and red shorts, sans the black tights in deference to
the summer heat. After a brief
discussion of what Daria was in need of, the well-dressed fortyish seamstress
led Daria behind a screen to a small pedestal.
"Please step up."
Turning to Jane, she said, "Please wait on the other side of the
screen".
Daria stood on the
platform, while Jane sat on the other side of a screen, sketching an image of
Daria as Scarlet O’Hara.
“Miss, you seem a little
nervous, ever have a fitting before?” The seamstress said, while taking measurements and recording them
in a small notepad.
“Only
when I was a bridesmaid a couple years ago. Not one of my
favorite experiences, a burlap sack probably would have fit better. Hopefully I’ve added a little more to my
‘feminine attributes’ since then to make a better fit”.
Jane laughed and said,
“That way you won’t have to put up with cracks about not having any hips”.
The seamstress looked
toward the screen Jane was behind, “What kind of idiot would say that? This young lady has the graceful, slim hips
that a lot of models would kill for”.
Daria looked down in shock
at the compliment; then added, “Just the old hag that fitted me for that
bridesmaid gown”.
The seamstress shook her
head, “It takes a more subtle hand to get a good fit to hips like yours, only a
hack would try to blame your hips for her lack of skill.
“A model’s hips huh?” Jane quipped.
“I will grind up your body
and sell it to the high school cafeteria”.
The seamstress blanched a bit at the suggestion.
Hours later, a fatigued
Daria and still bemused Jane exited the store.
Daria looked to her friend and said, "I didn't know the human body could
be measured so many ways. I also can't
believe the price. Sure glad Mom is
picking up the bill on this one; I wouldn't want to have to be paying for it
through my senior year of college".
"Just think, now all
we have left is to find you some shoes and some jewelry. I take it Axl's and the Funky Doodle are out the question".
Jane's speed and reflexes paid off when Daria's backhand sailed
harmlessly over her head.
After two days of shopping
and one week of waiting for the alterations to be complete, everything was
together, though the distraction required some deft negotiations for a special
commission to avoid being late on submitting her next story. Daria waited until the night of the dinner
before she hazarded to put the entire set together. Looking into the small mirror in her closet,
Daria thought, "I guess it looks okay". She went to the door and stopped to build up
courage to step out. Hearing Quinn
moving the hall, Daria took a deep breath, closed her eyes and pulled the
door. Opening her eyes, she saw her
sister in a delicately detailed, fashionable sleeveless blue gown with a
moderately low cut neckline and matching shoes.
She had perfectly styled and set hair, set off with gold earrings,
bracelet and necklace. Daria had to
admit that her sister looked like a young princess.
Quinn took a couple moments
to realize that it was her sister in the doorway. Daria wore a black silk gown with clean,
flowing lines that accented a slim, petite and graceful figure. Over the gown was a small, open, black velvet
jacket with long sleeves closed by small silver buttons. Roses were embroidered on the jacket in
black-green and appeared as fleeting, shadowy shapes with changing light. The only jewelry was a slim, silver necklace
that rested just above the modest, round neckline of the gown. From the center of the necklace, a single
black star sapphire glinted. The tips of
soft leather, low heeled boots appeared under the edge of the gown. Though recently trimmed and a bit more
carefully brushed, her familiar auburn hair looked perfectly with the gown,
along with her glasses. Quinn quickly
recovered her composure and said, “Wow, Daria.
You really do clean up well”.
“Thanks, your enthusiasm is
overwhelming.” Daria said self-consciously comparing
of her simple ensemble to Quinn’s complex attire.
“Really Daria, you do look
great. Don’t take my word for it, let’s
go down, you make an entrance and see”.
Quinn motioned for Daria to go first, and then followed several seconds
behind. When Daria reached the bottom of
the stairs, Quinn called, “Dad, how does Daria look”?
Jake stood up and turned to
look at Daria, “Hey Kiddo, the new…” his face went ashen and he slumped back to
the sofa behind him.
“Dad? Are you all
right?” Daria said with concern as she
rushed to Jake.
“Daddy?” Quinn added as
she followed Daria.
Jake stirred and looked at
Daria with a note of sadness in his eyes.
“Don’t worry Kid….” he paused and swallowed before continuing, “Uh,
Daria. I’m okay; just realized that my
little girl isn’t a girl anymore.
Helen peered around the
corner from the kitchen. Quinn looked
like a teen model. Beside her was a
timeless and elegant lady that she realized was Daria. Helen sighed in agreement with her
husband. “Daria, you look wonderful”.
Daria quietly said
“Thanks.”, as she tried to understand the looks on her parent’s faces.
Catching herself, Helen
looked toward her other daughter, “Quinn that is such a pretty dress you have
too”.
“Thanks Mom. See Daria, you do look great in that
dress. Quinn continued under her breath,
“I don’t believe it, what can’t you do.”
The ceremony had all the
appeal of a carefully catered event that had no thought given to the people who
would actually attend. Daria whispered
to her sister, "Quinn, I think I would rather have Dad's 'Kitchen Sink
Stew' than this fiberglass salmon".
"Ewww. Can't I just
skip both and have some carrot sticks instead" Quinn whispered back.
“Much to my surprise, I may
have to agree with you on that”.
The association president, in a slightly
oversized tuxedo, announced "To present our Lifetime Achievement Award,
the senior associate of Vitale, Davis, Horowitz, Riordan, Schrecter &
Schrecter; Mrs. Helen Morgendorffer".
Helen approached the
podium, adjusted the microphone and began, "Thank you
Mr. President. It is my great privilege
to discuss a woman who has provided this association with forty years of
leadership in civil and women's rights."
While the speech continued,
Daria watched the reactions of the crowd focused on her mother. Quinn was toying with some indescribable
object on her plate while maintaining eye contact with the teenage boy at the
next table. Jake sat upright with a look
of pride and pleasure on his face.
Expectedly, most of the younger attendees were showing boredom and
restlessness, but a large majority of the adults listed intently to the presentation.
A distinguished woman in
her seventies, Carol Murphey accepted the plaque from Helen and stepped to the
podium. “I will keep this brief so you
can go back to your synthetic salmon and plastic potatoes. Thank you Mrs.
Morgendorffer for that wonderful introduction. My thanks also to the State
Bar for this recognition. Though
the recognition should go more to those clients I represented. They are the ones the courage to ask to be
treated right. I only provided the path
to follow. Now, a couple of thoughts
that helped to keep me going over the years. Keep true to your ideals and true to
yourself. Finally, if your new clothes
feel drafty, you shouldn't have bought them from the emperor".
After the presentation
there was a steady stream of visitors congratulating Helen on the speech and
making various comments about her not being a partner. Jake was happily mingling with any and all
who would shake his hand. Not surprising,
Quinn had vanished into a gaggle of teenage boys brought along by their
parents. Daria was embarrassed to find
herself the center of attention among a group of college age and older
men. To one unsteady young man, she was
directing, “For some reason, I don’t find your offer to be appealing, perhaps
it is your deeply sincere face, overabundance of charm and alluring cologne,
but I just don’t’ think a midnight boat tour is for me”.
A hand was placed on
Daria’s shoulder and she heard an older, feminine voice, “Cynicism and Sarcasm,
not just a philosophy, a way of life”.
She turned to see Carol
Murphey standing behind with a gentle smirk on her face. With eyes widened in a plea for help, Daria
angled her eyes back and slightly nodded her head toward the small crowd of
loose Y chromosomes. Carol placed her
arm over Daria’s shoulder and gave a cool, “Please excuse us boys, we have much
to talk about.” to dismiss the waiting crowd.
As they walked away, she said to Daria, “Helen tells me that you were
her speechwriter”.
Helen slightly chuckled to
herself as she watched one of the matrons of the law profession and her eldest
deep in conversation. “With their
attitudes, I just knew the two of them would get along”. She gently shook her head and quietly said,
"If only I could get her into law school".
“Sandi, I am so glad you’re
home. Could you look at something with
me quickly”? Linda Griffin put a
videotape marked ‘Bar Assoc. Award Ceremon.
Sandi scrutinized the
screen closely, her jaw slowly dropping as recognition dawned on her. Linda heard a muffled ‘thud’, and turned back
to see her daughter lying on the carpet.
“Sandi”?
Thanks to uzurpator, Lawndale
Stalker, Steven Galloway, Greystar, Mahna Mahna, Brother Grimace, Ranger
Thorne, Kristen Bealer, and Hiergargo at PPMB for comments and
suggestions. Thanks for the ideas for
the survival kit, but if I included all of them, Amy would have to ship the box
FOB.