WHEN THE FAT LADY SANG By M Man "Would you like to buy some chocolates, ma'am?" asked Stacy. Mrs. Johanssen's eyes grew wide as she eyed the boxed of chocolate candy proffered by the two teenage girls standing on her doorstep. "What's this for?" wheezed the overweight woman. "Staaate Chorusss," drawled Tiffany. "You two in the chorus?" said Mrs. Johanssen, trying to remember where she had put her purse. Of course she was going to buy some chocolate. Not that her old fogey of a doctor would approve, but ... "No, ma'am, we're in the Fashion Club," answered Stacy. "We always participate in fund-raising drives. We need to collect money so some Lawndale students can attend State Chorus next month." "Well, girls, that sounds like a worthy cause. I used to do some singin' myself!" "Ma'am?" said Stacy. "Look, girls, I'm not movin' too fast today. I think my purse is on the kitchen table. Would you go get it for me? I need my inhaler anyway." Stacy was surprised at the request. Though the woman didn't look very steady on her feet. Not surprising, since she appeared to weigh more than the entire Fashion Club. But should Stacy enter this stranger's house? "Um, OK," said Stacy. She could see the table and the purse in the next room. She stepped into the house and started toward the kitchen. Just then Mrs. Johanssen wheezed loudly and started to fall. "Look ouuuut, Stacyyy!" shouted Tiffany. Stacy stepped quickly aside as the woman fell toward her ... ---------------- Almost thirty years ago, in West Creek, Texas, lived a little girl named Maggie Sue Hessler. Maggie Sue wasn't the smartest girl in town, or the prettiest. But she had a voice like an angel - an angel with a southwestern twang. Like everyone else in her family, Maggie Sue loved country-western music. She had a collection of records, and sang along with the radio. Her uncle, William "Big Bill" Hessler, thought Maggie Sue might do more than that. He played steel guitar for a local band called the West Creek Boys. They were to play at the county fair one weekend soon, and had been looking unsuccessfully for a female vocalist. He believed he had found one. "But, Bill," argued Maggie's father Earl, "you know Maggie gets all emotional and has a short temper. What if the audience starts to booin'?" "Earl, that ain't gonna happen. These folks 'round here aren't gonna jump on a teenage girl that way. 'Sides, they'll love her singin'. You heard the kinda singers mosta these bands have? She's way better'n them already." "Bill," cut in Lila, Maggie's mother. "If anythin', and I mean anythin' like that starts happenin', she comes right down offa that stage. Ya hear me?" "OK," sighed Bill. "But it ain't gonna happen, Lila ..." -------------- Stacy and Tiffany looked down at the fallen woman before them. "Is she deeaaad?" asked Tiffany. "No, Tiffany," said Stacy. "Listen to her." Mrs. Johanssen was wheezing slowly and loudly. "What do we doooo?" asked Tiffany. "She said something about an inhaler. I think it's in her purse," said Stacy. Stacy stepped into the kitchen and quickly brought back the purse. "Here it is," said Stacy. Stacy looked briefly at the name on the inhaler - Margaret Susan Johanssen. ------------------ "Stand by your man, Give him two arms to cling to And something warm to come to When nights are cold and lonely Stand by your man And tell the world you love him ..." Earl and Lila needn't have worried about Maggie Sue being booed off the stage. The county fair crowd roared its approval at "Stand By Your Man" and began stomping for an encore. Maggie Sue had gone back to sit with her parents, and Big Bill had to argue with Lila for several minutes before getting her permission to let Maggie Sue do another song. It was a good thing that they had practiced more songs. Four encores followed. Finally Maggie Sue finished by belting out a modified version of John Denver's "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" - her version was called "Thank God I'm a Country Girl." That was all they had practiced. But that wasn't the end of it ... ------------ "Tiffany, maybe we should call 9-1-1," suggested Stacy. "Hmmmm. Are you surrrre?" said Tiffany. "Maybe I'm not doing this inhaler right," lamented Stacy. Just then Mrs. Johanssen took a deep breath and opened her eyes. "'Preciate y'all gettin' me the inhaler, girls. Just let me rest here a minute. I still want to buy some of them chocolates." "Uh, ma'am, maybe we better call a doctor ..." said Stacy. "No!! No damn doctors!! Just let me catch my breath!!" Stacy stood up and stepped back from Mrs. Johanssen. This woman was a bit scary. ------------- The band, now called Li'l Maggie Sue and the West Creek Boys, became a fixture on the local country music weekend circuit. Earl and Lila still weren't sure they approved, but it was hard to argue with success. These were paying gigs, and Maggie Sue was now earning a substantial income for a girl barely in high school. Then one day came a telephone call from Austin. "Hello? Mrs. Hessler? This is Ralph Addison from Texas Capitol Records. One of our talent scouts has recommended that your daughter audition with us for a possible recording contract ..." ------------- Stacy and Tiffany waited. Mrs. Johanssen had propped herself up on her elbows by now and was breathing easily by her low standards. "So tell me about this chorus thing," asked Mrs. Johanssen. "We're just raising money," said Stacy. "We're not in the chorus." "I used to do some singin' myself," said Mrs. Johanssen. "Not in a chorus, though. With a band." Stacy and Tiffany looked at each other. The woman was obviously delusional. How could she sing if she could barely speak a sentence without gasping? ------------- Earl, Lila and Mr. Addison sat in a tall office building in downtown Austin. The state capitol building was visible in the large window. "I'm sorry," said Mr. Addison. "But we won't be offering your daughter a contract." "Why not?" demanded Lila. After resisting her daughter's entry into music, Lila had grown accustomed to Maggie Sue's string of increasing successes. It appeared the string had come to an end. "Mrs. Hessler, let me speak frankly to you. It's not just musical talent alone that determines success in this business. It's a certain type of image, as well." "What kind of image?" asked Earl. "Sir, the trouble is that your daughter is too chubby. And likely to remain that way, judging by your own appearances. Genetics, you know." Earl and Lila both weighed well over 200 pounds. "That's it!?" raged Earl. "Maggie's too fat, I'm too fat, my wife's too fat, and that's the end of it?!" "I'm afraid so, Mr. Hessler." "I ought to punch you ..." Mr. Addison had anticipated this response. Being honest with people got so unpleasant sometimes. Several security men appeared and escorted the Hesslers out of the building. ----------- "Are you sure you don't want us to call 9-1-1?" asked Stacy again, hesitantly. "I said - no damn doctors!!" screamed Mrs. Johanssen. ----------- Maggie Sue cried for days at the news. She gave up singing, despite Big Bill's pleas that there would be other chances if she stayed with his band. Unfortunately, Maggie Sue took solace in her love for candy, particularly chocolate. She was no longer merely chubby. By the time she finished high school, she was the fattest girl in her class. Her once-golden voice had deteriorated into an asthmatic wheeze. She was told by doctors she should lose weight. That she was imagining half her "illnesses." She screamed at them and soon refused to visit doctors, even when she really was ill. Earl and Lila were at wit's end what to do about her. She seemed to be unemployable, losing one minimum-wage job after another with her constant missed days for asthma attacks and other ailments, real and imagined. Then, unexpectedly, she received a marriage proposal. It was from a young man who worked at the candy store at the local mall. Frederick Johanssen was as fat as Maggie Sue, but he had a good job as a manager in the candy-store chain. He had often flirted with Maggie Sue when she stopped by to buy candy. Shortly after they were married, Frederick Johanssen was transferred by the company to manage a store his company was opening at a new mall in Lawndale. ------------ Mrs. Johanssen was back on her feet, rummaging through her purse. "I guess I only have enough cash on hand to buy one box, girls. Sorry I can't do more. State Chorus sounds like a good cause ... " she rambled. Stacy and Tiffany sold her the one box. They were glad to get out of that house and resolved to bypass it if they ever did fundraising again. ------------- Fred Johanssen died of a heart attack just after his 40th birthday. That was five years ago. Margaret Johanssen lived on a small but adequate annuity in the paid-up house. Luckily Fred had taken out a 15-year mortgage. Tonight, as usual, Mrs. Johanssen lowered her considerable weight onto the sofa and pressed the remote to turn on the TV. She ate two chocolates from the box she had bought earlier in the day. The shows proved uninteresting, and soon she was hanging her head, half-asleep. Through her sleep she heard a commerical for a country-music CD collection. The voice was Tammy Wynette's: "... stand by your man, give him two arms to cling to, and something warm to come to, when nights are cold and lonely ... " Margaret listened to the voice and remembered, and dreamed of what had been, and of what might have been. ----------- NOTES Thanks to Firah and Crusading Saint for the beta-read. ***** Please e-mail your reactions to this fanfic to mman37x@cs.com As always, fan-artists are strongly encouraged to draw pictures based on this fanfic.