Evil Tom's Evil Song, by John Berry

(Meant purely in jest... we think.)

Oh, he buys and resells white babies!

He chainsawed his real family!



He's drunk goat's blood and he'll do it again!

And will often bite the head right off a hen!



Heeeeee's Evil Tom! Evil Tom!

Evil evil evil Tom!

Evil Tom! Evil Tom!

Evil evil evil Tom!



He'll bury you alive way underground!

His head can twist around and around!



He's set fire to numerous U.S. flags!

And calls everyone he meets a "god damn fag."



Cuz he's Evil Tom! Evil Tom!

Evil evil evil Tom!

Evil Tom! Evil Tom!

Evil evil evil Tom!



He's destroyed the happy lives of Dar' and Jane!

And he loves to go and feast on human brain!



So don't leave your kids alone at night!

Cuz out there is a really scary fright!



Naaaaaaamed Evil Tom! Evil Tom!

Evil evil evil Tom!

Evil Tom! Evil Tom!

Evil evil evil Tom!



Evil Tom! Evil Tom!

Evil evil evil Tooooooooooom!...



If you're smart you'll hate him too!