SCENE 1 (Daria's dream, early morning)
(It's pitch black and silent. Suddenly we hear an echoing voice -- Andrea's.)
ANDREA: Whoooooo do you think you arrrrrrrrrrre...?
(We then see a dimly-lit figure emerge from the darkness. The figure grows more recognizable as it walks forward -- it's Daria. She's waving her arms around, trying to disperse the darkness, and looking confused. She looks straight ahead and suddenly her eyes widen. She gasps. cut to her POV: Andrea's towering overhead, staring down at Daria with scathing eyes.)
ANDREA: You caaaaaaaaaaall yourself an outcast??
(Cut to shot of Daria. She starts to speak, when suddenly Brittany's head floats on screen, swirls around above her.)
BRITTANY: Hey look, Kevvy! Let's say hi to our buddy, Daria! [*] see "The Lost Girls"
(Daria gazes up at her, utterly shocked. Before she can recover, Jodie's head floats on screen, intermingles with Brittany's.)
JODIE: Daria, could you play the cymbals in our quintet for the Lawndale Days festival? [*] see C.E. Forman's "Rain on Your Parade"
DARIA: I --
(Before she can get out another word, DeMartino's head bounces on screen, swirls around with the others.)
DeMARTINO: Daria, will you enlighten these two LUNKHEADS, Kevin and Brittany, about the history of America??
BRITTANY: Hey!
(Then Ms. Li's head floats on screen. Suddenly it's getting a little crowded -- Daria has to stoop over to avoid getting head-slammed.)
MS LI: Not so fast, Mr. DeMartino. Darierrrrrrrr has to practice her valedictory speech.
DeMARTINO: Oh, well --
(Then O'Neill's head shoots on screen.)
O'NEILL: (whiny) Please, Daria, hide my shoddy teaching style with your brilliant literary insights!
(Daria is about to respond again, when all of the heads start talking at once, creating quite a din. Daria looks at Andrea for help. cut to her POV -- Andrea towering overhead.)
ANDREA: Dammit -- you're popular! BEGONE!!!
(Cut to close-up of Daria. She gasps. Everything goes poof.)
(Cut to shot of Daria in bed. She shoots upright, gasping. After several seconds, she finally gets hold of herself. Frowns.)
DARIA: (resolute) All right. We have to talk.
(cut to: )
SCENE 2 (school, later that morning)
(Shot of Daria walking down the hall with Jane. She's walking at a brisk pace, and Jane's struggling to keep up.)
DARIA: I've been condemned for being too alienated, and I've learned to accept it. (Bt) But not alienated enough?? That's just sick.
JANE: (pacifying) Daria, this is the third time we've had this conversation, and I keep telling you -- Andrea's just like that.
DARIA: (sarcastic) You mean sadistic?
(Jane shrugs.)
JANE: Yeah. She was probably trying to get a reaction from you. Just ignore her.
DARIA: Ignore Big Brother? (Bt) Why should I -- she's not ignoring me. (Bt) And dammit, why should she get to decide who's and outcast and who isn't??
(Jane rolls her eyes.)
JANE: Look, do whatever. Go tell her how you feel if it's bothering you so much. She's over there.
(She stops and points to a growing crowd of students a short distance away. Andrea's standing at the edge of it. Daria gazes over and cocks an eyelid.)
DARIA: An onlooker at Quinn's Fashion Club debate. Now who's the conformist??
(Jane rolls her eyes again.)
JANE: She probably wants to watch the carnage unfold. I'm kind of curious, myself.
DARIA: (frowning) I can't believe the school's letting them hold this thing during class.
JANE: Hey, fashion's important to the school. (Bt) If the students look good, visitors'll think we're happy. Then they'll forget about minor transgressions, like budget cuts or horse meat in the cafeteria food.
DARIA: I see. (Bt) Fashion makes the school look like it's doing it's job.
JANE: Exactly.
(Beat)
DARIA: Look, I think I will have a talk with Andrea. (Bt) Where should we meet up?
JANE: (wicked) Wherever I'm close enough to see the blood spill.
(Daria shakes her head, walks away.)
DARIA: Spoken like a true sadist....
(Cut to shot of Andrea, doing what she was doing the first time she and Daria spoke -- retrieving a cigarette and lighter. Daria strides up and stands across from her. This time, she's frowning.)
DARIA: Okay, Andrea. What's up?
(Pause. Andrea looks at her questioningly.)
ANDREA: Don't know. (shrugs a shoulder)
(Beat. Daria rolls her eyes, mashes her lips together. Glowers at Andrea.)
DARIA: You do too know. (Bt) Remember our conversation yesterday?
(Pause)
ANDREA: Not really.
(Beat)
DARIA: C' mon -- that stuff you said about me being a conformist. That I'm like Quinn.
(Pause)
DARIA: (frustrated) Because you're wrong. You don't know anything about me.
(Pause)
DARIA: Deep down, I'm as twisted as you are. Maybe even more so.
(Pause. Andrea shrugs.)
ANDREA: Okay.
(Pause. Daria waits for more of a response. When she doesn't get it, her irritation grows.)
DARIA: Okay, okay... or okay, you agree with me??
(Pause)
DARIA: (thought voice-over) Here's an idea: how 'bout after I stop talking, you start right away.
(Andrea shrugs.)
ANDREA: The second one.
(Beat)
DARIA: Oh. Okay. (Bt) Well then, I guess that settles -- (starts to leave. then suddenly stops. turns to Andrea again.) Wait, one more thing.
(Andrea looks at her impassively.)
DARIA: I've been going to school here for over a year. And yet only lately you've started watching me. Right?
(Beat. Andrea nods vaguely.)
DARIA: So how come?
(Pause)
ANDREA: I wasn't interested in you before.
(Pause. Daria gives her a pointed look that says "continue.")
ANDREA: You once read some cool poetry in class.
(Beat. Daria blinks, surprised.)
DARIA: The "poetry from life" stuff we did a while back? [*] see "That Thing You Say"
(Andrea nods. Pause. Daria takes a moment to let this sink in. Then: )
DARIA: (wry) Let me save us some time by guessing the rest. You thought my work was cool, and that underneath my boring façade, I might be cool, too. So you've been watching me for clues.
(Beat. Andrea nods.)
DARIA: But instead, you've just found more conventionality. Correct??
(Beat. Andrea nods.)
DARIA: Well I'm not conventional.
(Beat. Andrea shrugs a shoulder.)
ANDREA: You've said that already.
(Beat)
DARIA: Oh. Right. (Bt) Well, um, what I mean is... I think you and I are a lot alike.
(Beat. Andrea looks at Daria impassively.)
DARIA: (blushing furiously) And maybe we could, um, look at each other's work sometime.
(Pause. Then we hear a thundering voice off screen: )
UPCHUCK: Laaaaaaadies and gentlemen, the first annual Fashion Club debate is about to begin! So gather 'round while there's still gawking space available!!!
(Pause. Daria runs a hand through her hair, rattled. She was already pretty on edge to start with. Andrea looks at her.)
ANDREA: My house. Today, after school. 3321 Cedar Court. Gray shingles. Don't forget. (turns and walks off screen)
(Daria watches her go, speechless for a few seconds.)
DARIA: Um, o-kay.
(Cut to shot of a small stage, around which a crowd including almost allthe familiar Lawndale High students have gathered. We see the 3 Js; Jodie and Mack; Kevin; Brittany and the other cheerleaders; Robert; Ted; Evan; our pal Barry from "'Shipped Out," who's passing out fliers for his Taxidermy society, a stuffed squirrel perched on his shoulder; Corey and that other guy who likes Quinn; Skylar; the "popular" girl from "The Invitation"; Brooke, the wannabe F.C., et cetera. Upchuck's standing off to one side of the stage, holding a mike and providing commentary. Stacy sits nearby, in one of two chairs. She shuffles through index cards. Meanwhile, Sandi's taking her place in one of two chairs on the stage, wearing her usual cool, haughty expression. Tiffany's with her.)
SANDI: Look -- all the people who like Quinn are here. (Bt) She has a lot of influence at this school, doesn't she?
TIFFANY: Yeah. (Bt) But not as much as you, Sandi.
(Sandi nods curtly.)
SANDI: (satisfied) Of course not.
(Cut to shot of the audience -- we see Jane standing toward the front. Daria's wading through the crowd to get to her.)
JANE: (as Daria arrives) I thought only the Fashion Club could vote in this election.
DARIA: Right. But this way they make it look like they're holding it for the students' benefit.
JANE: And what better way to enhance their image, right?
DARIA: Yep.
(Beat)
JANE: So anyway, did you tell off Andrea?
DARIA: Um... yeah.
(Suddenly the audience applauds. cut to shot of the stage. Quinn's arrived and is walking blithely to her seat. She suddenly pauses and looks out at the audience, her hands clasped together and wearing the same expression she gets when guys fight over her. Off screen, we hear guys chanting "Quinn! Quinn! Quinn!" Then Sandi makes a loud clearing-throat sound. Quinn turns around and sits down in the empty chair. Neither she nor Sandi extends a hand for good sportsmanship; instead, they just grimace at each other. Meanwhile, Tiffany is sitting down next to Stacy and also looking through index cards.)
UPCHUCK: Laaaaaaaadies and gentlemen... our candidates for president are ready to face off! In the left corner, we have the lovely Sandra Griffin, Fashion Club president for nearly two years running. And in the right corner, her very worthy opponent, Quinn Morgendorffer! Grrrrrrrrrr!
(The audience explodes at the sound of Quinn's name. Sandi's eyes narrow.)
UPCHUCK: Our debate will consist of our candidates each responding to questions posed by their fellow fashion club members. You'll both have thirty seconds! Now let's beeeeeegin! Grrrrrrrrrrr!
(Cut to shot of Daria and Jane. They roll their eyes. Pause. cut to shot of Stacy and Tiffany. Stacy reads from her first index card.)
STACY: (hesitant) Um, Issue Number One: Ms. Li decides that the students should wear uniforms. What would you do? (Bt) Um, Sandi?
(Cut to shot of the stage. Sandi does a dramatic pause.)
UPCHUCK: (off screen) Thirty seconds, Sandradee!
(Sandi glares down at him. Then her face takes on a superior look.)
SANDI: I'd stage a sickout for the entire school. No one would show up until Ms. Li had seen the error of taking away our freedom to accessorize.
AUDIENCE: Oooooooooh...
(Sandi smirks triumphantly. Glances at Quinn.)
UPCHUCK: (off screen) And now it's on to you, Quinn my sweet. Grrrrrrr!
(Pause. Quinn looks extremely composed.)
QUINN: If I were president, I'd work with fashion clubs from other schools to destroy all uniform-related newspaper clippings and web sites, so Ms. Li would never even think of asking us to give up our right to fashion.
AUDIENCE: Ooooooooooooh!!!
(Cut to shot of Daria and Jane. Jane leans toward Daria.)
JANE: She's good.
DARIA: (deadpan) At blowing smoke.
(Cut to shot of the stage. Quinn smirks triumphantly, glances at Sandi. Sandi's glowering.)
UPCHUCK: A feisty rejoinder from Morgendorffer! (to Stacy and Tiffany) How did it bode with you, ladies??
(Cut to shot of Stacy and Tiffany. Even they seem pretty impressed.)
STACY & TIFFANY: Good!
UPCHUCK: Okaaaaaaay, moving right along -- let's go to our second question. Tiffany!
(Pause. Tiffany picks up an index card and reads.)
TIFFANY: Issue Number Two. Not all girls are as fortunate as we are. How do you plan to help girls who can't afford to keep up with the latest trends? (Bt) Sandi?
(Cut to shot of the stage.)
SANDI: I'd organize an outreach program, where all of the best boutiques and department stores would donate the latest fashions to a clothing fair, and let the pathetically unfashionable make their selections.
AUDIENCE: Ahhhhhh...
(Again, Sandi smirks triumphantly.)
UPCHUCK: (off screen) What do you have to say to that, my fairest Quinn?
(Quinn appears unfazed.)
QUINN: An outreach program is a good idea. But why make the stores drag their clothes out to a silly fair, which would probably just ruin them, anyway? (Bt) I propose we give poor students discounts to all the major clothing stores, so they can get individual attention and be spared the humiliation of squeezing into Size Three jeans in public.
AUDIENCE: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!
UPCHUCK: (off screen) She makes a good point!
(Sandi glares, while Quinn smirks triumphantly.)
UPCHUCK: (off screen) But can you top her on the next question, Sandralaaah? Let's -- (interrupted by the sound of male voices chanting Quinn's name.)
(Cut to shot of the audience. All of Quinn's guys are pumping their fists.)
GUYS: Qui-inn!!! Qui-inn!!! Qui-inn!!! Qui-inn!!! Qui-inn...!!!
(Meanwhile, Daria and Jane look on, wearing deadpan expressions.)
UPCHUCK: (off screen) Oh my! Ohhhhhh, my! Someone's getting appreciated today!
(Brittany gathers the cheerleaders together and they do a cheer.)
CHEERLEADERS: Take it to the left! Take it to the right! Go on girl, you're hot! Fight, fight, fight!!! (Bt) Go on, baby, red hot... go on, baby, red hot.....
DARIA: (deadpan) Yes. Someone is getting appreciated.
JANE: And she knows it. Look at her.
(Cut to close-up of Quinn. She's wearing a serene, blissful smirk.)
QUINN: (thought voice-over) Advantage: Quinn.
(She looks out at the audience. Suddenly her face takes on a stunned expression. cut to Quinn's POV. The audience looks pretty fuzzy, but in the foreground we can see Angie, one of the cheerleaders from "Daria Dance Party," wearing glasses. resume close-up of Quinn. She's so focused on the glasses, she fails to realize that the cheer has died down and that Stacy is asking the third question. Silence. Then: )
UPCHUCK: (off screen) Oh Qui-inn!
(Quinn shakes her head, startled.)
QUINN: Huh?
UPCHUCK: (off screen) You're up first, this time.
(Pause)
QUINN: (suddenly less confident) Um, could you repeat the question?
(fade-out. fade-in to: )
SCENE 3 (hallway, after the debate)
(Shot of Angie chatting with some of the other cheerleaders. By now, the crowd that watched the debate has nearly dispersed. Suddenly, from off screen: )
QUINN: Angie! Could I talk to you for a second??
(Angie turns, her face brightening.)
ANGIE: Sure, Quinn.
(She walks over to her. Meanwhile, Quinn's looking agitated.)
ANGIE: We all thought you did a great job. You really showed up Sandi.
QUINN: (barely absorbing the compliment) Yeah, thanks. (Bt) Um, I was just noticing that you wear glasses now.
ANGIE: Oh, yeah. But not forever -- just 'til my new contacts are ready.
(Beat)
QUINN: Oh. And the other cheerleaders don't mind?
ANGIE: Mind? Why should they?
QUINN: Well, 'cause you look like a geek.
(Beat)
ANGIE: A geek?! (looks a bit ticked)
(Quinn makes an "Ix-nay" gesture.)
QUINN: Hey listen, I'm not saying you do. (Bt) But, um, don't the other cheerleaders think so?
ANGIE: Not that I know of. (Bt) I haven't gotten any smarter from wearing these things.
QUINN: Well have they said anything?
ANGIE: No. (Bt. shrugs) They treat me the same as they always do.
(Pause)
QUINN: (subdued) Oh.
(fade-out. fade-in to: )
SCENE 4 (Ms. Barch's science class)
(Close-up shot of Quinn, head in hand, wearing a thoughtful expression. She's completely oblivious to what Barch is saying.)
BARCH: (off screen) Because I know you testosterone-gushing, hormone-raging males would rather watch something being blown to shreds, I'm gonna make you watch the "Fuzzy-Wuzzy Animals of the Forest" video. May you rot in hell.
(The lights go out, shocking Quinn out of her reverie.)
QUINN: Hgh. (blinks disconcertedly, jerks her head around)
(Suddenly we hear Disney-type music coming from the front of the room. Quinn stares straight ahead -- her eyes widen, then narrow, in a desperate attempt to see. We hear a male narrator speaking.)
NARRATOR: (cheery off screen voice-over) Look at little Nub-nub. Isn't she cute? Nub-nub is one of many baby deer born in the forest every spring.
QUINN: Hgh. (Bt) Cute baby animals??
(She tries even harder to see. cut to her POV -- because she's sitting toward the back of the room, everything's a blur. resume close-up of Quinn.)
NARRATOR: (off screen) Nub-nub loves to play with Pokey and Tickly-wickly, and all of her other animal friends. And we'll get to meet each and every one of them.
QUINN: (sound of moaning) Uuuuuuuughhh...
(She slumps forward in her seat, her elbows on her desk. For several seconds, as the video drones on, she does nothing. Then, slowly, her eyes trail toward her purse on the floor. Pause. Slowly, Quinn reaches down toward it. Pause. We see her open it, then, slowly, start to lift out a black case. fade-out.)
(fade-in to: )
SCENE 5 (Andrea's house, after school)
(Shot of the outside. Daria's walking slowly down the sidewalk. She stops and turns to look at the house, in such a way that her back is to us. Her body language tells us she's doubtful about whether she got the address right. Nothing on the outside screams "Andrea." The house is one story and on the small side, but looks extremely well-maintained. The paint job is neat, the hedges look trimmed, and there's even a bed of flowers next to the porch. Suddenly we see the front door slowly open. cut to close-up. From the inside, we see a face peeping out -- unmistakably Andrea's. Then, like a phantom, she turns and walks away, leaving the front door ajar. cut to shot of Daria. She shrugs her shoulders: now that Andrea's seen her, she has no choice but to go in. Starts walking up the walkway. fade-out.)
(fade-in to shot of a living room with open doorways on either end. From wall to wall, we see Jesus paraphernalia: paintings, plates, cushions, statues, clocks, et cetera. cut to close-up of Daria. She looks extremely confused -- maybe this is the wrong house. cut to her POV. We see a spiky-haired silhouette pause in front of the other doorway, then disappear. resume close-up of Daria.)
DARIA: (thought voice-over) Walk through heaven to get to hell. (Bt) Somehow that seems fitting.
(She shrugs, and walks across the room. fade-out.)
(fade-in to shot of Daria sitting in a black wicker chair, wearing a mystified expression as she gazes at her surroundings. cut to her POV. The lighting of the room is red, so the walls all look blood red. Andrea has black curtains over her windows, similar to the ones in Jane's room. Some Marilyn Manson posters cover her walls, along with a poster of T.S. Eliot and a few landscape paintings. Predictably, in one corner, we see a life-sized plastic human skeleton. resume close-up Daria.)
DARIA: (thought voice-over) Well at least I can't find any bomb-making materials.
(Just in case, she glances across the floor. Suddenly Andrea comes over to her and puts a stack of papers in her lap.)
ANDREA: (usual expressionless tone) You wanted my stuff. Here it is.
(Daria leafs through the pages. The light's so bad, she has to squint to see the writing on them.)
DARIA: Um, thanks. (Bt) I'd've brought my stuff, but your invitation was kind of spur of the moment.
(Andrea doesn't respond. She sits down on a black afghan on her bed, not far from Daria. Meanwhile, Daria's discovering she can't read the poetry worth a damn in the bad light. She decides to risk it and make conversation.)
DARIA: Um, nice room. Real twisted, like mine.
(Beat. No response. Daria feels like an idiot -- she's not used to being so forward, and it's weird to be with someone more passive than she.)
DARIA: (lamely) Um, nice house, too.
(Pause)
ANDREA: My mom's a born-again. (Bt) Thinks the church'll keep her sober. (shrugs a shoulder)
DARIA: Oh. (Bt) Are you into that stuff?
(Andrea looks at her.)
DARIA: (thought voice-over) Stupid question. (Bt. aloud) Um, I don't blame you. Organized religion does more to trample on the human spirit than to uplift it.
(Andrea doesn't respond. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.)
DARIA: (thought voice-over) Ugh. Just slap a big sign on my forehead that reads "trying too hard." (shakes her head, frustrated)
(Andrea pulls out two cigarettes and offers one to Daria.)
ANDREA: Cigarette?
(Daria puts a hand up.)
DARIA: No thanks. I don't smoke.
(Pause. Andrea looks at her.)
DARIA: (defensive) Hey, not smoking doesn't make me a conformist.
(Beat. Andrea continues to look.)
DARIA: Plenty of non-conformists don't smoke. (Bt) Especially since so many Hollywood celebrities have picked up the habit.
(Beat. Andrea looks slightly stunned.)
DARIA: (thought voice-over) Gotcha.
(She smirks, suddenly feeling more relaxed. Andrea's demeanor seems an eensy bit more accessible, too.)
DARIA: Um, so is this what you do after school? Hang around your room and write poetry?
(Beat. Andrea shrugs.)
ANDREA: Most of the time.
(Beat)
DARIA: Yeah, me too. (Bt) It's a good way to escape from reality.
(Andrea nods vaguely.)
ANDREA: Or make your own.
(Beat)
DARIA: Um, yeah. (Pause. finds herself a bit uncomfortable with that statement. decides to skirt past it.) So, um, you said most of the time you're in here. What about the rest of the time?
(Beat)
ANDREA: I don't know. Sometimes I paint.
DARIA: You do?
(Andrea points to the landscape paintings. Daria looks at them, and her eyes widen with amazement.)
DARIA: Those are yours?
(Beat)
ANDREA: Yeah.
DARIA: Wow, those are really good. (Bt) How'd you learn to do that?
(Beat)
ANDREA: I taught myself.
(Beat)
DARIA: Ever shown them to anyone?
(Pause)
ANDREA: Like who? Ms. Li?
DARIA: Um, no, I meant... Ms. Defoe, or someone connected to the art scene.
(Beat. Andrea shrugs.)
ANDREA: They wouldn't want my stuff.
DARIA: How do you know?
(Pause)
ANDREA: Because I tried entering the poster contest last year. No one would let me. [*] see "Arts 'N Crass"
(Pause)
DARIA: Oh. (Bt) But... I thought the contest was voluntary.
(Beat)
ANDREA: Yeah. But they didn't care. They thought I'd do something that'd embarrass the school.
(Beat. Daria's frowning.)
DARIA: Um, yeah. I understand. Too well. (Pause) But maybe if they saw your other stuff... (gestures at the paintings)
(Beat. Andrea shrugs.)
DARIA: I mean, don't hide yourself just 'cause some people are too closed-minded to accept you for who you are.
(Pause)
ANDREA: Maybe, but I don't really care anymore. I don't paint for other people.
(Pause)
DARIA: Um, yeah. Nor should you.
(Pause)
ANDREA: I figure they can do their thing if they'll let me do mine.
(Beat)
DARIA: (sober) Yeah.
(Andrea's words ring all-too true for her. In spite of their difficulties with communication, Daria suddenly feels a sort of connection with Andrea. The connection reminds her of their shared interest in poetry, and she glances down at the papers.)
DARIA: Hey, I was just thinking: it'd be better if we had both of our poetry to look at. (Bt) So we could compare.
(Beat. Andrea shrugs.)
DARIA: So how 'bout coming over to my house, sometime?
(Pause. Then Andrea shrugs again.)
ANDREA: Okay.
(cut to: )
SCENE 6 (Morgendorffer house, a few days later)
(Shot of the outside. cut to shot of the kitchen. Quinn's lounging on one of the stools by the counter, chatting on the cordless phone with Tiffany.)
QUINN: ... Y' know, it'll be really nice to have you guys over, away from all that election stuff.
TIFFANY: (from the receiver) Yeah.
QUINN: Sorry Sandi couldn't come. Who'd've thought it'd take an entire evening to wax your facial hair??
TIFFANY: Bummer.
QUINN: But the three of us'll have fun. (Bt) We could pop some no-salt, no-butter, no-oil, fat free popcorn, give each other makeovers... (Bt. faux nonchalant) And I have some stuff in my closet that I kind of want to get rid of, if you and Stacy are interested.
TIFFANY: Sure.
(Beat)
QUINN: Hey, Tiffany, I was just thinking: Sandi's got a lot of influence at school, doesn't she?
TIFFANY: Yeah.
QUINN: As much as me??!
TIFFANY: Oh, no way.
QUINN: Good. (Bt. slightly worried) But gosh, um, you sounded kind of quiet a second ago. Anything wrong?
TIFFANY: Oh no.
QUINN: That's good. (Bt) So you'll be over soon?
TIFFANY: Definitely.
QUINN: Great. See ya then. (hangs up the phone)
(Cut to shot of Helen and Jake sitting on the couches in the living room, doing their usual work/ newspaper-reading. Quinn walks over to them.)
QUINN: Now when Stacy and Tiffany get here, you won't embarrass me by saying hello or anything, right??
JAKE: Of course not, sweetheart!
(Helen looks at him, a bit annoyed. Turns to Quinn.)
HELEN: Yes, we'll try to stay out of your way. (Bt. suspicious) You know, Quinn, if you don't mind my saying: your little get-together almost smells like back room dealing.
QUINN: So?
HELEN: (cocking a brow) Isn't that against the rules of good sportsmanship?
QUINN: (rationalizing) Maybe so, but Mo-om, I really want to beat Sandi. (Bt. crafty) She's kind of like my Laura Winters, and it'd be a shame if we lost to her twice, now, wouldn't it??
(Pause)
HELEN: (firm) Do whatever it takes to win, sweetheart.
QUINN: (triumphant) I will, Mom. (Bt. gets a worried look.) Um, Daria's not gonna be around to embarrass me, will she?
(Helen sighs.)
HELEN: I think she's upstairs with Jane. (Bt) If you want her to stay out of your way, go ask her yourself.
(Quinn nods resolutely. Turns and leaves.)
(Cut to shot of the upstairs hallway. Quinn's just come from the stairs and is walking toward Daria's room.)
QUINN: (calling) Oh Daria?
(Suddenly she runs into Daria and Andrea, coming from the opposite direction. Quinn sees Andrea and cringes.)
QUINN: Agh!! (face gets a look of horror)
(Andrea regards her impassively, as does Daria.)
DARIA: Yes?
(long Pause. Quinn does her best to recover. Glares at Daria.)
QUINN: (through gritted teeth) Can I speak to you alone for a minute, please??
DARIA: (faux friendly) Well sure, sis. (looks at Andrea, rolls her eyes, then walks away with Quinn.)
(Cut to shot of the bathroom. Daria and Quinn walk in, stand in front of the sinks and mirror.)
QUINN: (resolute) Daria, my friends'll be over soon. You cannot have that freak here.
DARIA: (frowning) Hey. Andrea's my guest. She's got as much right to be here as your friends.
(Quinn quickly loses her composure.)
QUINN: Oh no she doesn't!!! I'm counting on tonight to win me the Fashion Club presidency, and if anything goes wrong --!
DARIA: (flatly) Look, don't worry. Andrea and I won't say or do anything to wreck your chances.
QUINN: You don't understand! Just by being here she could wreck my chances! If my friends see her --!
DARIA: What?! If your friends see her, what?!
(Beat)
QUINN: They might think she'll rub off on them or something. And then they'll blame me! (Bt) Look, it's bad enough I have to worry about them seeing you --
DARIA: (coldly) Ooh-hoo, your own sister. That is, if you had the guts to admit that's who I am.
QUINN: Oh quit being such a big baby about that! (Bt) Look, fine, if it's a matter of money, I'll pay --
DARIA: Forget it. Not interested.
QUINN: But Daria!
DARIA: N-O.
(Beat)
QUINN: Dammit, Daria! If you and your loser friend cost me this election --!
DARIA: (sarcastic) You may just have to go back to being vice-president. Aw gee.
(Beat. Quinn glares at her.)
DARIA: Or maybe you'll be forced to take a good look at yourself in the mirror.
QUINN: Huh? (thinks she means it literally, turns and looks at herself)
(Daria rolls her eyes.)
DARIA: I mean maybe you'll finally realize that being Miss On-Top-of-the-World Fashion Club hotshot isn't you.
(Beat)
QUINN: (sullen) What're you talking about??
(Pause)
DARIA: (serious) Look, Quinn, I don't know how long you think you can fool people --
(As she says this, Quinn's face turns pale, as if she's remembering something.)
DARIA: -- I mean, you've managed to fool them for over a year about me. But sooner or later, you're gonna have to face the fact that you're vision-impaired, and acting like a big idiot trying to cover it up.
(Pause. Now Quinn's glaring at Daria through the mirror.)
DARIA: You're giving up a lot by not wearing your glasses. (Pause) Aren't you?
(Pause. Quinn stops glaring and looks downward, her brows furrowing.)
QUINN: Giving up what?? (Pause. turns to Daria, tosses her hands in the air.) Being a loser nerd with no friends??! (Bt) Look, I don't have time for this. I gotta get ready... (starts to leave)
(Daria cocks and eyelid.)
DARIA: Fine. (Bt) But could you answer me a question?
(Quinn pauses.)
QUINN: Yes?!
(Beat)
DARIA: What's the real reason you're bugged by me and Andrea? Is it 'cause we're freaks, or 'cause we make you scared you might be one?
(Pause)
QUINN: (flatly) That's a stupid question.
(She leaves without answering it. Daria cocks a resigned eyelid.)
(Cut to shot of the hallway. Quinn's stalking down it, head bowed, not paying attention to her surroundings. Suddenly she bumps into Andrea. Looks at her.)
QUINN: Aghhhhhhhhh!!! (runs away)
(Andrea watches her go. Shakes her head.)
ANDREA: Weird.
[Split screen of Sandi and Quinn smirking triumphantly at each other.]
You are now entering commercial HELL. Please keep your seat belt securely fastened. You are about to see some of the lamest commercials put on television.
You are now leaving commercial HELL. Aren't you happy you survived?