This is [or should be] the nineteenth episode of The Driven Wild Universe. It follows
This is one of those "cumulative" fics, where stories from previous fics begin to be resolved. Basically, my fics up to this point, especially #16 through #18, have served to build up tension. #19 through #22 will release it... sort of. Because it is a cumulative fic, it would have helped to have read the following beforehand: "The Tie That Chokes," "That Thing You Say," "None in the Family, Parts 1&2," "Breaking the Mold," "Erin the Head," "Charge of the Math Brigade," "An Uneasy Marriage," and "In Her Own Words." But if you didn't, never fret: I made enough references to be helpful, but not so many that it interfered with the story. Besides, even people who have read each fic 10 times will be confused. ; >
It's a 3S. Actually, having read real half-hour scripts (which are even shorter than I thought), I can guess it's actually many sittings more than that.
One final thing I ought to confess up front: this fanfic features a boyfriend- girlfriend relationship that will probably seem like an adult version of the Daria/Tom relationship. This was not intentional. In #19 and #20, I tried to give the boyfriend his own likes, dislikes, and quirks, but suspect people will think "Tom Sloane" anyway because of his sarcasm. Never mind that this character first appeared in "The Tie That Chokes" and "That Thing You Say," which came out before "Jane's Addition" aired, and was alluded to in "None and the Family" and "Erin the Head," which came out long before S4 eps "I Loathe a Parade," "Fire!", and "Dye! Dye! My Darling." Ah well, judge for yourselves, and lemme know what you think.
Oh, and enjoy!
[intro theme music...................]
SCENE 1 (Helen's office, Friday afternoon before a three-day weekend)
(Shot of the outside [whatever it looks like; have we even seen it?]. Cut to shot of Helen sitting at her desk, phone to her ear. She speaks with her normal assertiveness, but she looks tired.)
HELEN: (to another lawyer) It's unacceptable. Unacceptable. It will be a cold day in Hades before I accept an offer so ludicrously off the mark. (Pause. Her eyes narrow.) What do you mean it's the best outcome I could hope for?? Listen here, you: I could take this to court and wind up with a settlement a lot larger than what you -- (Pause. Helen's face pales and she grits her teeth.) Oh really?? Well you may think my "star is falling," but I'll have you know I'm every bit as capable of staring you down as I ever have been! (hard tone.) And on that note: I'll see you in court.
(She slams down the phone in it's cradle. Cut to brief close-up of Marianne at her desk. She winces, then resumes typing. Helen, for a moment, stares at the phone with a competitive gleam in her eyes. Then it fades, leaving Helen looking as though the energy has drained from her body. She sinks back in her chair and her face takes on a pensive expression. Marianne glances at her with concern.)
HELEN: (catching her) What?!
MARIANNE: Um, nothing.
HELEN: (angry, weary) You look as though you want to say something so quit stalling and say it.
(Beat)
MARIANNE: It's just you...
HELEN: It's just I what?!
(Beat)
MARIANNE: (weak) It's just... (She feels Helen's hard gaze.) you did your hair nicely today. Yes, that's it.
(Helen gets a stony expression; they both know that's not what she wanted to say. Marianne smiles and quickly resumes working. Helen stares at her for a moment, then lets her gaze trail over to the side of the room. She gazes absently for several seconds, before finally "coming to" with a scowl. She slaps herself and straightens up, just as Eric waltzes into the room.)
ERIC: (to Helen, oozing charm) How's my favorite lawyer doing??
HELEN: (face brightening) Oh hello, Eric! I was just haggling with Joe Goldberg about the settlement for the Headbands USA lawsuit; you know how that idiot will never meet us halfway.
ERIC: You bet I do. (winks.) Which is why you'll hit him with the jury box, won't you?
HELEN: (pleased) You know me too well. (lips curl.) I'm going to crush that bastard if it's the last thing I do.
ERIC: Now that's the competitor I know and love. (pats her shoulder.) It's great to have you back.
HELEN: Back? (small, weak laugh.) Have I gone anywhere?
ERIC: Oh, well... (awkward Pause. Eric gets the same expression that Marianne did earlier.) you know you've been kind of off kilter.
HELEN: (slight frown) I've been a little under the weather lately, but I haven't lost anything. (Bt) I'm still the same as I've always been.
ERIC: (a little too breezy) Of course you are. (grips her shoulder in a "buddy" hug.) And before you know it, you'll have kicked that losing streak and regained that golden girl fierceness I keep telling them you have.
HELEN: (confused) Keep telling who I have? The other partners??
ERIC: They've been a little worried. (Bt) Actually "outraged" is the more appropriate word. "She's costing us millions!" blah, blah. But don't fret: I'm sure you can prove to them you're still partnership material.
(Beat)
HELEN: (slightly sickened expression) Of course.
ERIC: But before you delve further into the case, I want you to rest up real well these next few days.
HELEN: (dazed) Rest?? Eric, are you feeling all right?
ERIC: (jovial) Oh come on, Helen, I believe in relaxation as much as the next boss; it's a holiday weekend, for crying out loud! So only keep your cell phone on during daylight hours.
HELEN: Well... thank you. But you know that with big cases like this, I usually put in weekends at the office.
ERIC: Helen. (meaningful look.) You need rest. So you don't end up getting a much longer rest.
(Helen catches his meaning, swallows hard. Marianne glances at her with sympathy.)
HELEN: Yes, you're right. (tries to smile.) Of course: some rest is just what I need.
ERIC: That's my girl! (He claps her on the shoulder one last time before heading toward the door.) If you need to contact me, I'll be on my boat. Have a great weekend.
(He nods at Marianne, then leaves. As soon as he's gone, Helen sinks lower in her chair, trying with all of her might to keep a calm expression. Finally she looks at Marianne.)
HELEN: (deflated) So do you think I need rest?
MARIANNE: (quiet) You have seemed awfully tired, Helen. It'd be good for you to spend time away from work, even if it's only a few days.
HELEN: (brightening momentarily) Yes, I could finally spend some time with my family. Some real unhurried quality time. (Pause. Something about this idea causes her to lose her glow, and she says in a murmuring tone:) I can hardly wait.
(fade-out. fade-in to: )
SCENE 2 (freeway, on the way home)
(Cut to overhead shot revealing a dark sky and cars locked in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Cut to side shot of Helen in her SUV, wilted against her seat.)
HELEN: (whispering) Snap out of it, Morgendorffer! Shake it off! Nothing's wrong that can't be fixed. Nothing's beyond you... oh God. (Her face puckers.) Oh God, everything's a mess. (She takes a deep, quaking breath to sober herself up.) I just need someone to talk to. My family -- no. (She looks truly miserable, until something occurs to her and she reaches for her cell phone.)
(Cut to shot of the kitchen at the Lane residence. The phone starts ringing shrilly, and rings several times before Trent strolls over, coffee pot in hand. He picks up the phone, then lays his ear against the pot.)
TRENT: Hello? (Bt) Hello?
HELEN: (from the phone) Hello?? Trent?
(Realizing his mistake, Trent lays the pot on the counter and slaps his forehead.)
TRENT: Man, that was bad. (puts the phone against his ear.) Yeah, it's Trent. (recognizing.) Is this Daria's mom?
(Split screen to show Helen on the left side, looking anxious.)
HELEN: Yes Trent, this is Helen Morgendorffer. Could I speak to your mother, please??
(Trent stifles a yawn, looks thoughtful.)
TRENT: Sure... if I can track her down in Guadalajara. Or was it Guatemala? Someplace where they've only got one phone every fifteen miles.
(Helen exhales silently.)
HELEN: Do you... know when she might be home?
TRENT: No. But when she arrives, I gotta tell her there was an accident with her kiln. (uneasy expression.) Um yeah, accident.
HELEN: (feeble) Well... when she gets home, could you please have her call me?? Tell her it's very important.
TRENT: Got it. (picks up on the urgency in her voice.) What's wrong?
HELEN: (startled by his bluntness) Wrong? Nothing. Nothing's wrong. (musters a smile.) I just needed to ask your mother a silly little question, that's all. It's nothing important.
TRENT: (confused) But you just said --
HELEN: I really should be going; the traffic's starting to let up. Say hi to Jane for me, and you take care of yourself, young man.
TRENT: (still confused) Sure. Bye.
(Cut to full shot of Helen in her SUV. Wearing an expression of defeat, she lays her cell phone back on the passenger seat. Then she gets another idea and quickly picks the phone up again, autodials another phone number. Helen lays the phone against her ear and waits, with a pained expression, as it rings over and over again. Finally: )
GREG: Hello?
(Helen loses her nerve and shuts of the phone before another word can be uttered. She flings it against the passenger seat. Then she takes several deep breaths to calm herself down.)
HELEN: (hoarse) Focus, Morgendorffer...
(She reaches into a compartment where her CDs are stored, then pops one in. Close-up reveals it to be the Elvis Presley Anthology. As the King starts crooning away, Helen seems to gain a little serenity.)
(Meanwhile, cut to shot of Trent sitting in the kitchen, drinking a mug of coffee. Jane walks in, forages through the fridge.)
JANE: Who was on the phone?
TRENT: Daria's mom. She wanted to know if our mom was around.
JANE: Mom -- around?? Like she was someone who actually lived here?
TRENT: Yeah. Go figure.
JANE: Maybe when pottery wheels fly. (turns to Trent, smirks.) Which, given what you and the band did to her kiln, may not be beyond the realm of possibility.
TRENT: (scowling) We were just trying something cool for our music video. We got caught up in the moment.
JANE: (wicked) I'll say. Too bad none of you guys remembered bring a camera.
(Trent scowls.)
JANE: So did Helen want to sign up for another art class, or something?
TRENT: (shrugs) She never said. Just said traffic was letting up and she had to go. (frowns mildly.) Funny though: she sounded like she really needed to talk to Mom.
JANE: (brow creasing) That is funny.
(Cut to shot of a freeway overpass. Zoom in on a sign underneath that shows a junction coming up, with Downtown Lawndale on one side and the Interstate freeway on the other.)
(Cut to shot of Helen in the SUV. She drives as though in a trance, letting Elvis's music run through her.)
ELVIS: "Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?/Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?"
(The song ends, and there's total silence until the next one starts.)
ELVIS:
I've had nothing but sorrow
Since you said we were through
There's no hope for tomorrow
How's the world treating you?
Every sweet thing that mattered
Has been broken in two
All my dreams have been shattered
How's the world treating you?
(Helen murmurs along, until she notices something up ahead.)
HELEN: Dammit!!
(Cut to her POV: The signs along the road reveal that she is on the Interstate.)
HELEN: I missed the turnoff! Dammit, dammit!!! (Getting angrier than necessary, she pounds and shakes the steering wheel.) Now I'll have to get off and turn around!!! (A sob wells in her throat, nearly choking her last words. Indeed, this little mistake seems like the thing to tip her over the edge. Shaking and blinking back tears, Helen grips the steering wheel.)
(Cut to shot of the outside. The SUV keeps riding along the Interstate, past an overhead sign which reveals various destinations. Cut to shot of Helen. She still seems on the verge of a breakdown, but then becomes calmer once she sees the sign. Suddenly her shaking stops, and she takes a deep, calming breath. She straightens up, her eyes focusing in such a way that says she has made a decision. Her grip on the steering wheel relaxes.)
(Cut to shot of the outside. The SUV rides past a clearly-marked Exit and keeps on going.)
(cut to: )
SCENE 3 (Morgendorffer residence, later that evening)
(Cut to shot of the outside, revealing few lights on other than the one in Quinn's bedroom. Cut to shot of Daria lying on the bed in her room, phone to her ear.)
JANE: (on the other end) So do you want me to come over, or not?
DARIA: Sure. (cocks an eyelid.) You can make a pretty wall mural out of the stains Quinn left from cooking dinner.
(Cut to split screen.)
JANE: What the hell is so hard about heating a tin of lasagna?
DARIA: Just the obvious: heating metal in the microwave causes fire. Quinn did not realize this before failing to place the food in a microwave- safe container. When disaster struck, she panicked and tossed the flaming mess toward the sink.
JANE: "Toward the sink"??
DARIA: (sour expression) It missed.
JANE: Lovely. So where were you to prevent this calamity?
DARIA: (deadpan defensive) I was watching the bag of instant mashed potatoes do somersaults in boiling water. Making dinner is hard work, you know.
JANE: Yeah, you're a real Julia Child. So is this newfound love of cuisine an attempt to extract a really punishing sum from your parents?
DARIA: If you think I'd go to that much trouble, you must have fallen and hit your head pretty hard on the way to the nut house. (Bt) My parents are both gone for the evening; Mom just called to say she's pulling an all-nighter at the office.
JANE: (genuine shock) So you... were being... responsible?!
DARIA: (embarrassed, defensive) I was trying not to starve. You think I'd order out after the exposes we did for the underground??
JANE: Bleh, true. (Bt) But it's strange: you said your mother was at the office.
DARIA: To do a thing called "work." Very strange.
JANE: (rolling her eyes) But Trent got a call from her over an hour ago asking for our mother. He mentioned she was in traffic.
DARIA: She wanted your mother? That's not just strange, it's downright disturbing.
JANE: Your mom's supposed to be working, yet she's in her car?
DARIA: She could've just gone on a dinner run. But for the hell of it, let's go with the less logical explanation: she's using work as a cover for going on some mad dash across the country. She wants your mother to be the Thelma to her Louise.
JANE: If you were talking about anyone other than Helen, that might actually be plausible.
DARIA: Sick and sadly enough. (Pause) But then again (brow creases with concern.) my mom hasn't been herself for so long, who knows what she'd do.
JANE: She probably hasn't done anything. I shouldn't have planted that seed of paranoia in your brain.
DARIA: But you just couldn't help yourself. (Bt) Of course if my mother did run off, where would she go??
(cut to: )
SCENE 4 (freeway, much later that night)
(Overhead shot of the SUV heading toward an off ramp, against the backdrop of several skyscrapers. Cut to inside shot: Elvis is singing Simon & Garfunkel's "Bridge Over Troubled Water," while Helen drives with grim purpose.)
(Cut to shot of the outside. The SUV now travels along a city street against the backdrop of a bay and [no pun intended] a bridge. The street is quiet, but not silent, given that it's past midnight and some people are returning from clubs, bars, or the theatre. Cut to inside shot of the SUV. Helen's determination gives way to anxiety and muted hopefulness. Cut to outside shot: she drives down a street past upscale houses and apartment complexes.)
(cut to: )
SCENE 5 (a short time later)
(Close-up of Helen, sitting in a chair, talking to someone off screen. She looks completely spent. Her eyes are red, with shadows underneath; some of her hair is astray, and she slumps against the side of the chair even as she makes frantic gestures to accent her speech.)
HELEN: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry to be bothering you at this time of night. I was in the area, and you just happened to be in, and (musters a smile.) you told me the last time we were together that I could drop over any time.
(Pan over to show a man, late-thirties to early forties, sitting on the couch nearby with his elbows on his knees. His brownish-blond hair is mussed from being against the pillow, and his light beard is accompanied by a five o' clock shadow. We recognize him from somewhere.)
MAN: Well I might object (big yawn.) but I'm still not sure whether I'm awake or dreaming. (glances off to his right.) Do you see leprechauns dancing on her shoulders?
(Pan over further to show Amy, the one whom he and Helen were both addressing, sitting in another chair, looking similarly bed-ruffled.)
AMY: (sleepy) More like fluffy pink rabbits doing backflips. (to Helen.) It's not your habit to drop in on people after midnight, is it? (Cut to wide shot, revealing Amy's spacious living room as seen in "Through a Lens Darkly" and "Erin the Head," plus some extra furniture. Helen laughs in an airy and slightly unhinged manner.)
HELEN: Oh-ho-ho-ho, Amy, don't be silly! (sly.) It's an honor I reserve for members of my family.
AMY: (glancing at the man -- her boyfriend, Joel) Lucky me.
HELEN: But listen, if you'd rather (face becomes slightly vulnerable.) I can stay in a hotel for the night.
AMY: (brow creasing) I doubt the hotel reservation desks would be open at this hour. Besides, you're my sister: of course I want you to stay here.
HELEN: (cheeks glowing) Thank you.
AMY: (wicked smirk) Then I'll have you right where I want you.
(fade-out. fade-in to: )
SCENE 6 (living room)
(Cut to shot of Amy coming in through a doorway, carrying some pajamas. She rubs her eyes sleepily and stifles a yawn.)
AMY: All right, we've cleared enough crap out of the guest room for it to be a guest room instead of a "multi-purpose" area. (wrinkles her nose.) Trust me: it's better you not ask.
(Cut to shot of the couch where Helen is sitting, her back to Amy and the viewer. Amy comes over and lays the pajamas on top of the couch.)
AMY: And these should fit you, (smirks.) even though my clothes were a little snug the last time you wore them. So I think... (notices the silence.) Helen?
(Cut to close-up of Helen. She's huddled against one side of the couch, her face red and tears streaming down her cheeks. Amy makes her way around the couch and approaches her with some concern.)
AMY: Hel--
(Helen reaches forward and grabs her sister around the waist. Pressing her face against Amy's side, she starts shivering and crying noiselessly. Amy looks down at her, stunned. Then she leans down awkwardly and lays her arms around her.)
AMY: (whispering) It's okay... it's okay... I'm not that much thinner than you are.
(This quip elicits no reaction from Helen, so Amy continues to hug her in an awkward, but soothing manner.)
(fade-out. fade-in to: )
SCENE 7 (bedroom, 1-2 hours later)
(Shot of Amy creeping into her darkened bedroom, making certain not to wake her beau. No such luck: as soon as she's put her glasses on the bedside table and lain down the left side of their queen-sized bed, Joel turns over.)
JOEL: So, is your sister tucked in for the night?
AMY: (nods wearily) Finally.
JOEL: And how long will she be gracing us with her presence?
AMY: Probably until I chase her out with a butcher's knife.
JOEL: Try not to sever any fingers.
(Amy snuggles beside him.)
AMY: Can you handle being encroached upon for a night or two?
JOEL: (nuzzling her neck) I have by you, haven't I?
AMY: Excuse me, darling, this was my apartment.
JOEL: So? I brought the fully-loaded PC you always use. To a science nerd, it's the same thing.
AMY: Ha-ha.
JOEL: Your sister's sudden appearance doesn't exactly fill me with joy, but I wouldn't toss her out when she's in distress. She's a lawyer: wouldn't that get me ten to twenty?
AMY: Ooh, such compassion.
JOEL: (sighs) But that kills any weekend plans we might have had, doesn't it?
AMY: No big deal. We were never going to go hiking anyway -- not with your knee acting up and my mortal dread of mosquitoes. Besides (eyes widen.) dammit, that's right!
JOEL: What?
AMY: (with dread) Tomorrow's my date at the clinic.
JOEL: Oh. Oh! You definitely can't miss that.
AMY: (mumbling) Yes I can. It's not important.
JOEL: What, are you crazy??
AMY: (annoyed) I guess I am.
(She turns away from him and sinks half of her face into her pillow. Joel plays with a lock of her hair, expression fatigued.)
JOEL: At least you can take comfort that it's genetic.
AMY: No, I can't. (frowns.) I've never seen my sister like this. It's just short of terrifying.
JOEL: Why?
AMY: (frustrated) Why?? Because a lifetime of experience has taught me never to doubt Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer. She's as steady as my father. Back in the Sixties, she even plotted her descent into hippiedom.
JOEL: Sort of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?
AMY: (reciting) "August 7, 1968: In four weeks I'll be a college freshman. Prepare for the Revolution by purchasing tie-dyed clothing, taking lessons in controlled burning, and brushing up on my Bob Dylan."
JOEL: You're really serious.
AMY: Completely.
JOEL: That's bad. (cocks a mirthful brow.) Almost as bad as you snooping in her diary.
AMY: I was a little sister. It would have been immoral for me not to stoop. (Bt) But the point is, if Helen crumbles, my entire worldview could change.
JOEL: Why?? You're a steady person.
AMY: Not like her.
(Her tone contains an unconscious air of reverence, which Joel picks up on.)
JOEL: She came to you with her problems, didn't she?
AMY: Which brings us to the great mystery. Why me? (She rolls onto her back to face Joel.) We've seen each other twice the past year, and talk on the phone now and then for maybe fifteen minutes. That doesn't exactly a friendship make.
JOEL: Maybe she doesn't do that with anyone else.
AMY: (exasperated) Oh please: with all that she deals with in her life, I can't mean that much to her. (face falls.) If I did, wouldn't she have come to me sooner?
JOEL: Not if she's as self-sufficient as you make her out to be.
AMY: Maybe. (sighs.) In any case, I'd have probably handled it in the same bungled fashion as I did tonight.
JOEL: Listen here, you: quit selling yourself short. You've got a lot to offer the world, including your sister. Maybe you mean more to her than you think.
(Amy reaches over and strokes his hair fondly.)
AMY: And maybe the sleep deprivation's affecting your brain.
(fade-out. fade-in to:)
SCENE 8 (Amy's place, Saturday)
(Outside shot of the sky, suggesting that it's mid or late morning. Cut to close-up of Amy standing in a kitchen with terra-cotta counter titles and glass cabinets. Unlike her surroundings, Amy looks like an absolute wreck; even her glasses are slightly askew. She pours coffee absent-mindedly, into the sink instead of her mug before she realizes her error.)
(Meanwhile, cut to close-up of Helen, still asleep in the guest bed. She looks as though she did not have a restful night. She lies in a fetal position, the blankets twisted around her, her face half-buried in the pillow. A few mumbled exclamations escape her mouth before she turns and opens her eyes. For a few moments she stares at the ceiling, then slowly sits up and looks around. Cut to her POV: the room around her looks fuzzy and distorted, filled with shadowy objects that have little relationship to one another. An exercise bike, a couple of old chairs, some packing boxes, bar bells, a clothes rack, and more. Helen looks at them with confusion, then down at her unfamiliar pajamas. Then everything comes back to her, causing her to groan and close her eyes. Just as Helen has pushed aside the bed sheets and risen, Amy appears in the doorway, sipping her coffee.)
AMY: (deadpan) No, it's not a dream: you really are in Hell.
HELEN: (rubs her eyes.) What time is it?
AMY: (smirks) In Hell, it's always "late for work."
HELEN: (looks at her watch) Ten oh-eight?!
AMY: Relax, Helen: it's the weekend. Or do you work Saturdays now?
HELEN: I hardly ever sleep this late. I have to call my family.
(She hurries toward her work clothes, which have been neatly laid out, her cell phone lying on top. Amy watches with amusement and curiosity.)
AMY: Don't they know you're here?
HELEN: (starts dialing) I told them I was working all night at the office.
AMY: So they shouldn't be concerned you're gone.
HELEN: (ear to the phone) Dammit -- busy. (lays down the phone.) No, but I should get home to them. Eric actually gave me some time off, some real time off. How could I waste the chance to spend it with my family??
AMY: (crossing her arms) And who am I? The mildew in your sink pipe?
(Beat. Helen turns to look at her, gets a deeply apologetic expression.)
HELEN: I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean -- I just assumed you and your boyfriend would have made your own plans.
AMY: (cocks a brow) Perhaps. Perhaps not. (Bt) So then you feel as though everything's been taken care of.
HELEN: (face brightening) Oh yes. (comes over to Amy and lays a hand on her shoulder with gratitude.) I want to thank you for putting me here for the night. I honestly don't know what came over me.
AMY: Brain seizure caused by cell phone radiation?
HELEN: (rolls her eyes) Oh Amy...
(She gives Amy a hug, which succeeds in disarming the Cynical Aunt. Her face softened, she watches as Helen walks back over to where her work clothes are gathered. Although Amy doesn't buy Helen's miraculous turn-around for one second, she decides not to press, at least for the time being.)
AMY: It's too bad you couldn't stay an extra day. I could show you more than the confines of this place.
HELEN: (stunned) This is the first time I've seen your home, isn't it?
AMY: (smiles) Any of my homes since I stopped living with Mom and Dad.
HELEN: I never realized. (Her forehead creases with discomfort.) There must be so much I don't know about your...
(Something dangling from a handle bar or the exercise bike catches her eye. Helen reaches over and takes it, holds it up to Amy with a curious expression. Handcuffs.)
AMY: (rolling her eyes) Don't ask.
(Dissolve to a short time later. Still dressed in Amy's pajamas, Helen takes a stroll around the apartment. From the look on her face, it's clear she approves of Amy's taste. She moves from the hallway to the living room, taking a good look at the furniture and the modern artwork. Some of the furniture appears to be mismatched, as though it were added to an already completed set, but looks handsome nonetheless. Helen heads toward the bay window, from which the curtains have been drawn back, allowing one to view a leafy courtyard below and the city skyline and part of the ocean in the near distance. As she gazes out the window, Helen gets an expression that says, "It sure would be nice to wake up to this every morning." She then turns and looks at something off screen. At first Helen's face registers shock, but then it softens immeasurably. She stares at the object for a little while longer before turning around and heading toward the hallway. When she finds Amy pouring more coffee in the kitchen:)
HELEN: You know, it wouldn't hurt me to stay a while longer.
[Shot of Helen and Eric, followed by shot of Trent talking into the coffee pot, followed by shot of Jane and Daria on the phone, followed by shot of Helen holding out the handcuffs to Amy.]
You are now entering commercial HELL. Please keep your seat belt securely fastened. You are about to see some of the lamest commercials put on television.
You are now leaving commercial HELL. Aren't you happy you survived?