They Came from Planet Xulfanex

Notes

From "The Teachings of Don Jake":

JAKE: Tutoring, dental work, Congress! I'm not a machine damnit! I'm a man! For once in my stinkin' life show a little... Ah! Ah! Ah! (holds eye)

HELEN: Oh Jake, not again.

JAKE: It's my eye! Oh God, it's my eye!

DARIA: Get the camera.

QUINN: Ick!

I considered putting that as a prelude to the story, but didn't want to give too much away...

Anyway, there aren't too many notes this time. This was just a fun story that grew from a ficlet, based on a fanfic challenge issued to me on the Paperpusher Board, which was to write something as over-the-top as possible. I was going to write one scene where Quinn learns that her favorite teacher, Mr. Phelps, is an alien, and then witnesses a showdown between him and DeMartino, also an alien. However, as I kept going, I came up with the idea: What if the "evil" person Phelps is after is actually not evil? What if Jake's clueless, eccentric traits were actually due to cultural, not mental, barriers? It was a fun way of rewriting Daria history and to explain some of the unexplainable, like Jake's unknown number of years in military school or Lawndale's location.

This began as a message board story, but I've expanded a scene here or there and corrected some errors. Even so, there are probably still plot holes large enough to drive a bulging eye through. Such as how could DeMartino have come to Lawndale with the Morgendorffers, yet be one of the senior faculty members at Lawndale High?

I should try to explain Daria and Quinn's powers, though. They are great and shocking, as you can see, and Daria and Quinn still do not understand the extent of them; they just stumble across them as they vent their rage toward DeMartino and Phelps. So why does it seem like sometimes they work and sometimes they don't? Even Daria and Quinn don't know. This is one thing that Jake is starting to teach them by the end, and is the basis of Quinn's fear of being too close to her mother or other full-blooded humans.

There are limits to their powers, however. Most importantly, they cannot bring people back to life. They also cannot naturally teleport themselves (as Phelps seems to) or others (as DeMartino could, after having studied). They also don't have the power to heal. In fact, one could say that theirs is mainly the power to destroy - a fact that rests uneasily with Jake/Norlek, let alone Daria or Quinn. Also, aside from being able to shake the ground and slow time, they have no effect on the natural elements. The biggest limit of all, though, is self-imposed; Daria and Quinn want to live on earth as normally as possible, and feel that there is something frightening and unfair about being able to manipulate the people around them, even if for benevolent purposes.

Physically, Daria and Quinn are typical humans, though their powers have made them slightly more impervious to wear and tear (such as Quinn getting hit by a car bumper and emerging with scratches). Jake/Norlek, DeMartino/Gob, and Phelps have slightly more durable "costumes," although even theirs could be harmed if the blows were severe enough (for example, DeMartino's first costume getting ripped to shreds by Beavis and Butthead). Phelps manages to carry on like the Terminator because of his natural invincibility.

The bulging eyes are part of their true bodies, though.

There is also one serious part I would like to discuss. I suspect several readers were disturbed by the scene where DeMartino slashes Amy's stomach. I didn't do this just to create more drama or provide an outcome different from that of the Driven Wild Universe; I also did it to show the extremity of DeMartino's zeal. To him, no person is more important to him than his home planet. Up until that point, even with the reveal that he had offered Daria and Quinn in a trade, I think he still came across as mostly an oddball, quirky character who was well-meaning at heart. Indeed, even before the revelation that Amy was pregnant, DeMartino/Gob was struggling with whether to put more priority into his earth ties, which led him to smuggle Daria and Quinn out of the school rather than have them be taken by Phelps. However, his act of violence underscored that he had made his choice to put Xulfanex first, and Daria and Quinn were justified in going after him.

Will there be a sequel? Maybe once I've finished everything else I've left unfinished... 2050 work for you?

Lastly, I suppose there were a few outside influences at work on this story. I've actually never watched Ed Wood films, but I have seen Carrie, or, even better, Serial Experiments: Lain, a Japanese anime series. I urge everyone who hasn't to rent a copy, if available.

Thanks for reading!