Chapter Twelve

"That - it wasn't like that a few weeks ago. Was it?"

"No," said Amy, with a shaky laugh. She ran a hand over her middle. "I've heard of showing late in your term, but this is ridiculous. At first I thought it was a tumor, but no - it's a baby."

"How did it happen?" Daria whispered.

"How do you think?" Amy replied. "It must be Joel's. It has to be. Because no way..." Her face clouded over.

"Have you seen a doctor?"

"No... not yet. I'm a little afraid to." Amy's lips trembled slightly. "I swear, I was only half this big last week -"

Just then Helen came in, her arm around a rumpled Quinn. "Hi girls! Is there any f-"

Her mouth dropped open, as Amy closed her robe too late.

"Here, Daria," said Amy in a tone that strained to be sardonic, "I think your mother could use that coffee."

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" groaned DeMartino blissfully from the master bathroom. "OOOOOOeeeeeYEAHHH! That really HITS the spot!"

Sitting on the edge of Amy's bed, Jake gazed forlornly at the bathroom area, where

DeMartino was relieving himself of extraneous fluid. Finally DeMartino emerged, satisfied, zipping up his pants.

"The BEST thing about these human costumes!" he proclaimed as he tucked in the tatters of his shirt. "MUCH better than going through your nose, like our REAL -"

"Gob, I need to talk to you," Jake said in a low tone. DeMartino's glow disappeared, and was immediately replaced by a business-like glare. Jake glanced toward the door.

"I couldn't sleep a wink last night. My mind was churning... over how much all this has been hurting my family. We can't ever go back to Lawndale, can we?"

DeMartino gritted his teeth in thought. "Probably NOT. At least not for now..."

"We all had a life there. All of our mementos..." Jake stared at the floor. "At least back in Highland, we had time to pack."

"They're just HUMAN things, Norlek."

"But they mean something to my family." Slowly, Jake stood up and began to pace. "I've put them through so much, and it's sure to get a lot worse. Then it hit me how I could make it better."

"What?"

"I'm the one he wants." Jake gazed at DeMartino, his jaw fixed with growing determination. "If I give myself up to him, maybe he'll just take me and leave my family alone. It's our best shot."

DeMartino's eyeballs about bulged out of his head. "You'd be sentencing yourself to MURDER!"

"Not so loud!" Jake said in a fierce whisper, swerving toward the door.

"You can't DO it, Norlek!" said DeMartino in a marginally softer tone, anger and fear in his eyes. "You'll DESTROY everything you worked for!"

"If I don't, I'll destroy everything here!" Jake shot back helplessly. "And what did I really do over there? I was a freak of nature, a menace. I didn't even know what I was doing! If it weren't for you, I would have never channeled my energy for a higher purpose. Maybe if I explain it to the tribunals, they'll just return me to the salt mines -"

"I said you CAN'T!" DeMartino growled back, vaguely menacing. "Not THAT way! Return to our home world when -"

"When what?" Jake snapped. "For seven Xulfanex years and nearly thirty-two earth years I've been running, waiting for the right time to return! But when is the right time?! When two Xulfanex years have passed and my family is homeless? When my wife and daughters have died of old age?!"

He fought to hold back tears. "Did you even see Quinn this morning? She looked... I can't even describe how bad she looked, but this is killing her."

"We need more TIME," DeMartino insisted. "Dammit, I've been protecting you for over THIRTY earth years!"

"Is that what this is about?!" Jake said darkly. "If I go back now, without your say-so, you'll feel as though your time was wasted? That all of the years you spent refusing to form ties with the earth world and working in a crappy job went unrewarded?!"

"You really think this is about ME?!" DeMartino thundered. "Did you ever think how your WONDERFUL earth family might cope if they knew what you were IN for??"

"Jake!"

Both men froze and spun toward the door, which Helen had just opened. She looked at her husband tensely.

"We have a situation."

Cheeks burning with embarrassment, Amy lifted her nightshirt and showed Jake what she had shown Daria just a short while before. She, the Morgendorffers, and DeMartino had gathered in the living room.

"I told Joel that I'm just getting really, really fat," Amy muttered.

"When Amy told me how fast she was growing," said Helen, "I thought there might be a connection between her situation and ours. My gestation with Daria and Quinn was only two months apiece." She turned to her daughters, brow creased. "I probably should have mentioned that at some point."

"It's enough that you're mentioning it now," Daria deadpanned.

"How did this happen?" Jake looked Amy over anxiously. "Men from Xulfanex can't impregnate a human female except by using human organs, and the only three I know who... Amy, is Joel from Xulfanex?!"

"No, Jake," said Amy, rolling her eyes. "He may be from Mars, but he's definitely not from beyond this solar system."

"Were you ever... with anyone else?" Helen asked in a low tone.

"No," Amy said with mild anger. Then her eyes widened. "Wait... there was one time. But I wasn't even sure... but when else could it have been?"

She didn't notice when DeMartino started to act fidgety. "It was back when you two had just split up, when Joel and I had come to lend moral support. We had decided to give you guys some space and leave for home that evening, but rain forced us off the road to a motel. Not one of those cool haunted motels - unless by 'haunted,' you meant from cockroaches."

Amy fidgeted uncomfortably, both from the story and from her pregnancy. "Anyway, Joel and I started fighting about our future, and I got so angry, I stormed out of the room. After about an hour or so in what passed for a lounge, I came back. Problem was, I couldn't quite remember what room we were in. I went to the door that looked like ours and gave a hard shove. It opened, and everything was dark inside. I could hear heavy breathing that sounded like Joel's, and figured with no one to talk to, he must have gone to bed.

"By then, my anger had burned off and I was in a conciliatory mood. I undressed and slipped under the covers." Amy's cheeks were now scarlet. "I curled up against him and started whispering 'I love you' and that I just wanted to make up. He woke up and turned toward me. I ran my hands along his chest and... did I mention that while in the lounge, I'd knocked back several shots of vodka?"

"Ah," said the Morgendorffers.

"Anyway, we..." Amy made the appropriate gestures, too embarrassed to speak, "and I fell asleep. When I awoke it was daylight, and I was alone in the bed. It was then I realized that this wasn't my room."

Her words were met with several stares. "In conclusion," Amy sighed, "I got dressed and found our room, and told Joel I had spent the night in the lounge. When I found out I was pregnant, I didn't know what to do. I certainly never expected this."

Jake stared off into space, while Helen patted her arm. "Honey, no matter what happens, we'll help you through this."

"Oh, that's reassuring," Amy said in a slightly hollow voice. But she did look a little better.

"So you didn't see what he looked like at all?" asked Jake, with a trace of worry.

"It was completely dark. I couldn't even see myself."

"I don't want to alarm anyone," said Jake, "but if Amy got pregnant by someone from Xulfanex, that could mean one of two things. Either the 'father' is the man who has been hunting me, or the great warlord sent a new bounty hunter to finish what was start-"

"All RIGHT!" DeMartino cried, springing up with frustration. The rest of the group stared at him as, reluctantly, he made his way over to where Amy sat. "No NEED to get riled up! It was me, okay?! It was ME."

Amy stared at him, her mouth agape. "You?" gasped Helen.

"Why were you in a motel?" Jake asked.

"I was taking a brief TIME OUT from Kevin - er, I mean, from teaching," DeMartino said sheepishly. "And I had to get out of Lawndale for a couple of nights. To someplace CHEAP."

"The other dimensions had 'No Vacancy' signs?" Daria asked skeptically.

"Strangely, YES."

DeMartino gazed at Amy and tried with all of his might to look appealing. "So, I guess that makes ME the father."