[TV Guide synopsis: Amy and Kristovo's relationship is tested when the Bureau ships them to Spain on the trail of Corona (special guest voice Salma Hayek). Back home, Ruth ponders a catchy slogan for the bakery while Andrea and Rita go on dates.]

ACT ONE

SCENE 1 (Kristovo's house, bedroom, morning)

(Pan across Amy and Kristovo, side by side in bed, to a small night table with an alarm clock. Amy is still sound asleep, but Kristovo looks as if he's been up for awhile, and is deep in thought. As soon as the camera is centered on the clock, the alarm sounds.)

AMY: (reaches across Kristovo's chest, slaps it off) Oh, God... Mom's gonna be on my case again. (snuggles up against Kristovo, who stretches) Mmmmm.

KRISTOVO: (serious tone) Amy? (pause) What's it like... being around your mother all the time?

AMY: (smirks) What, you want to get married and find out? (Then she sees that his question is serious.) Well... it's okay, I guess. She's there when I need her... sometimes when I don't. (thinks) She heaps on criticism when she's upset with me, she heaps on love when she's not, she... she mothers me.

KRISTOVO: (looks thoughtful) Hmmm.

AMY: But then, most of the time I'm either here, or working at the bakery, or out using my FBI skills to fight whatever happens to be threatening my friendly, laid-back home town that particular week. (Bt) So I guess she doesn't get to me like she does Rita.

KRISTOVO: And your father? (sees Amy wince, caresses her gently) When he was still alive, I mean. Were he and your mother close?

AMY: Why the sudden interest in my family, Kristovo? (Bt) Oh my God, you're not gonna propose, are you?

KRISTOVO: Of course not, sweet Amy. Can you imagine? Us... marriage?

AMY: Then okay, fair's fair: What were your parents like?

KRISTOVO: I asked you first.

AMY: (smirks, playful) And I asked you second.

KRISTOVO: (sighs) The truth is... I've never had much of a family. You make sarcastic comments about yours, Amy, but I envy you sometimes.

(Amy looks like she's about to make one now, but decides to hold back, let Kristovo talk.)

KRISTOVO: (faraway look in his eyes) My parents divorced when I was very young, too young to even remember. My father raised me as best he could. Working long hours at two jobs to make sure I had everything... tried to make it seem like nothing was missing.

AMY: Was he a good father?

KRISTOVO: Yes. (Bt) He died four years ago, last week was the anniversary. I visited his grave on Sunday.

AMY: So that's where you disappeared off to!

KRISTOVO: And to pick up this. (reaches under bed, produces a gift-wrapped package)

AMY: (adoring look) Oh, 'Stovito, you remembered our anniversary!

KRISTOVO: (caught off-guard) Hmm?

AMY: (playfully slaps him) Oh, you! It's our six-month, silly!

KRISTOVO: Er... yes. Our six-month. Happy anniversary, my love.

(He hands the package to Amy, who undoes the ribbon bow on it. Delighted, she opens the package and lifts out an exquisite strapless lace bra.)

AMY: Ooh, an exquisite strapless lace bra! I'll have to try this on!

(Kristovo holds the bra around her as Amy, her bare, graceful back to the camera, fastens it in the front.)

AMY: (looking down at it) Is this a button here?

KRISTOVO: Yes. It automatically unhooks it.

(Closeup as he demonstrates, then cut to an angle behind Amy as the bra drops off. Amy leans forward, Kristovo holding her in his strong arms.)

AMY: (kisses him, then picks up the bra again) Hmm... I'm going to say Sharper Image.

KRISTOVO: (smirks) Right you are. $79.99.

AMY: Aww, how sweet! An high-tech, expensive, impractical -- but very very sexy -- present.

KRISTOVO: (romantic) You really have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?

AMY: (playful) Why, no I don't. You'd better tell me, 'Stovito.

KRISTOVO: (complies, leans close) You are so--

(The phone rings. Amy pouts as Kristovo pulls away from her to answer it.)

KRISTOVO: (on phone) Hello?... Yes, speaking... Yes, she's here as well... We'll be right there. (hangs up, then to Amy) We're wanted at the Bake Sale.

AMY: Another oven bulb needs replacing?

(Kristovo climbs out of bed, pulls on a pair of pants. Amy has put her new bra back on.)

KRISTOVO: That was the Bureau. They have a job they need done, and they asked specifically for you.

AMY: (comments to camera) Wow. Having my own show kicks ass.

(cut to: )

SCENE 2 (Barksdale Bake Sale, a short time later)

(A bell rings as Kristovo and Amy come through the door.)

RUTH: Amy! How are you, dear? You realize you're late, don't you? Did you sleep okay last night?

AMY: (looks askance at Kristovo) Er, yeah... slept...

(Kristovo laughs / coughs. Rita looks jealous.)

RUTH: Oh, and Amy, dear? See if you can think of a catchy slogan for the bakery. Your sister and adopted daughter haven't been much help.

ANDREA: Hey, I came up with one. "We're all gonna die anyway, so who gives a damn how much fat you eat?" Not my fault you didn't like it.

RITA: (to Amy) She's driving me nuts, thank God someone else is here... even if it is you.

(Amy frowns, Rita smirks.)

RITA: So what'll you have, Sis?

AMY: (peers at the selection) The custard cakes look good.

RITA: Kristovo?

KRISTOVO: Cruller and coffee. Triple cream, no sugar, please.

(Amy gets her breakfast and joins Kristovo at a far table, where a couple of obvious FBI agents are already seated. They're both male, one white, one black, with identical suits and dark sunglasses hiding their eyes. We'll refer to them as Agent White and Agent Black.)

AMY: (greets them) Hi, Special Agent Doctor Amy Barksdale. And you are?

AGENT WHITE: You don't need to know our names.

AGENT BLACK: All you need to know is what we tell you.

AMY: (to Kristovo) Friendly co-workers, aren't they?

AGENT BLACK: (speaks with barely a hint of expression in his voice) We're sorry to meet with you in such shoddy surroundings--

AGENT WHITE: (picks up) --but we just flew in and haven't had breakfast yet.

AMY: (miffed) Hey, for your information, my family owns this place, and I work here when I'm not on assignment.

AGENT BLACK: (monotone) You must be very proud.

AGENT WHITE: Spare us the backtalk, Agent Barksdale. As of now, you are on assignment.

(As Amy, Kristovo, and the two agents continue their discussion, Andrea uses the pretense of wiping nearby tables to eavesdrop.)

AMY: (pouty) It's not backtalk. It's sarcasm.

AGENT WHITE: (dry) Sarcasm.

AGENT BLACK: (same) It's a great way to deal.

KRISTOVO: What sort of assignment are we on?

(Agent Black slaps a file on the table, not even reacting when it spills Amy's coffee onto the floor. Closeup on the folder, revealing a photograph of a familiar spiderweb-tattooed, 18-year-old Latina.)

AGENT WHITE: Corona Coronada.

AGENT BLACK: (deadpan) That's "Corona" like the Mexican beer.

AGENT WHITE: Wanted on twelve robbery counts in connection with hit-and-runs.

AGENT BLACK: Born, October 15th, 1970--

AGENT WHITE: (double-checks, Corona looks much younger than that) Is that correct?

AGENT BLACK: Of course it's correct, you prepared the file yourself. (Bt, continues) Born October 15th, 1970.

AGENT WHITE: (adds) Havana, Cuba.

AGENT BLACK: Ran away from home at age seven--

(Cut to a table on the other side of the bakery, where Rita refills the coffee cup of a distinguished-looking man in a suit and tie.)

RITA: More coffee, sir?

MAN: Yes, thank you.

(Rita pours, but she's really concentrating on the more exciting life of her sister, and ends up overfilling the cup, sending hot coffee spilling onto the gentleman's lap.)

MAN: Hey!

RUTH: (notices) Rita!

RITA: Oh my God, sir, I'm so sorry!

(She drops the pot, which lands on the table and dumps the rest of the coffee out all over the man's breakfast.)

MAN: (joking) Um, I think that's enough.

RITA: (gasps) Ohmigod... (She's near tears now.)

RUTH: Rita, you have got to be more careful! People will go around saying Barksdale Bake Sale spills hot coffee in your lap! I want to create a slogan, not be given one!

RITA: (stammers) I'll-- I'll get you another plate, sir! Ohmigod, your suit!

MAN: (not mad) It's okay, don't worry about it! A quick trip to the dry cleaners will fix it.

RITA: Well, I'll pay for it, I'll--

(But Rita can't hold back the tears. The man stands, puts a hand on her shoulder.)

MAN: C'mon, don't cry. It's okay. Really.

RITA: (looks up at him with big, moist eyes) R-really?

(Back to Amy, Kristovo, and the agents, who are still rattling off the complete case history from flawless memory.)

AGENT WHITE: --recruited in 1989--

AGENT BLACK: --we believe--

AGENT WHITE: --by the Secret Society--

AGENT BLACK: --a mysterious underground organization with agendas not our own.

AGENT WHITE: Sent in search of a series of 16th-century artifacts, 1989 through 1997.

AGENT BLACK: Then disappeared.

AGENT WHITE: Until a few months back--

AGENT BLACK: --when she came after you. (looks to Amy)

AGENT WHITE: The A.D. instructed us to bring you two in on the case because of your recent contact with her.

(Andrea's looking more and more interested as she wipes up the spilled coffee.)

AGENT BLACK: She's currently holed up in a mansion in Ibiza--

AGENT WHITE: (without missing a beat) --an island in the southwest Balearics--

AGENT BLACK: --Spanish occupation.

KRISTOVO: And what are the specifics of our assignment?

AGENT BLACK: Interpol will brief you on that upon your arrival in Barcelona--

AGENT WHITE: --a major seaport in the northwest corner of the Mediterranean.

AGENT BLACK: (slaps a pair of airline tickets on the table) Your flight leaves in two hours--

AGENT WHITE: --Stantonville International Airport--

AGENT BLACK: --Allied Airlines flight 235--

AGENT WHITE: --Gate 17.

(Abruptly, the agents gather their files and head out, one of them leaving exact change on the table without having to count it out first.)

ANDREA: (just before they're out of earshot) God, who put the sticks up those guys' asses? (Bt) So, Mom, I bet if I--

AMY: (interrupts) The answer is no, Andrea.

ANDREA: Huh?

AMY: You're not getting mixed up with that woman again. Once was enough. (recalls) Corona Coronada... the woman who ran over my mother, kidnapped my daughter, and set fire to my bakery. (Bt, to camera) It's payback time!

RUTH: (pitches another slogan idea) I know: How about, "If the government calls it shoddy, it must be good!"?

(cut to: )

SCENE 3 (Rutherford City Landfill)

(Hold on establishing shot of the dump's main entrance, then cut to closeup of a pair of gloved hands holding an archaeologist's excavation brush, sweeping away at a broken piece of something buried in the dirt.)

(Gently, the hands lift the fragment and set it down on a table with no legs, among similar pieces. The gloves are pulled off, revealing that one of the hands has a tattoo of a spider and web, ending at the wrist. Incidental music.)

(Medium shot of Amara, Corona Coronada's assistant, surveying the landfill excavation site, which is layered and has clearly been underway for some time now. She pulls out her cellular phone and dials.)

(Cut to a beach, closeup of ocean waves lapping at the shore. Slowly pan right, up the shore. The camera passes a foot and moves up a long, shapely leg. Sound effect, a cellular phone ringing.)

VOICE: (female, answers it, trace of accent) Yes?

(Back to Amara.)

AMARA: It's Amara, Ms Coronada. I found it! I found the Timepiece!

(Back to Corona, resume the pan across her body, clad in a black string bikini, then her tattooed left hand, lying on the sand. Continue up her arm, revealing her entire left arm is now covered with the webs.)

CORONA: Excellent. Book the quickest flight back you can find. But first--

(Her cell phone emits a tone.)

CORONA: --One second, Amara. (switches lines, impatient) Yes?

MALE VOICE: (accompanied by dramatic background music, slightly eerie) Senorita Coronada.

(Recognizing the voice, Corona's eyes widen, and she assumes a more respectful tone. As the conversation continues, the Spanish is translated in subtitles at the bottom of the screen.)

MALE VOICE: ¿Esperar que usted haga un aspecto en su salón del coctel esta noche?
MALE VOICE: [Shall I expect you to make an appearance at your club tonight?]

CORONA: Si. Tendremos causa a celebrarrrr. (She rolls the second "R" sound with her tongue.)
CORONA: [Yes. We will have cause to celebrate.]

MALE VOICE: ¿De hecho?
MALE VOICE: [Indeed?]

CORONA: Amara ha localizado el restos del Reloj.
CORONA: [Amara has located the remains of the Timepiece.]

MALE VOICE: Excepcional. Entonces tendremos mucho a hablar.
MALE VOICE: [Outstanding. Then we will have much to talk about.]

(He hangs up. Corona takes a moment to compose herself before switching back to Amara.)

CORONA: I just got in a good word for you with the higher-ups. You're going places, Amara.

AMARA: (reaction hard to decipher) Should I get back as soon as possible, then?

CORONA: Not just yet. I have one other small task for you to perforrrrrm.

(cut to: )

SCENE 4 (Barksdale Bake Sale)

(The scene opens mid-argument.)

RUTH: Rita, you can't go out tonight! With Amy gone, how will I handle the post-dinner dessert crowd? These tired bones can't run this whole place on their own.

RITA: God, Mom, you're always keeping me here, it's no wonder I haven't met anyone! If Andrea had a date you'd let her go out!

RUTH: Yes, Andrea, why don't you ever go out? Maybe with that nice Ryan boy who's always hanging around, I think he likes you.

(Rita looks relieved that Ruth's attention has gone from her to Andrea. Andrea flips Rita off in retaliation.)

ANDREA: So. Who's the lucky man-thing this time?

RITA: (gives her a dirty look) Remember the guy who was in here this morning?

ANDREA: The one you spilled coffee all over?

RITA: Right. Well, his name's Marcus. Marcus Pietropinto. And you would not believe the note he left me! (takes it out, reads, beaming) "Since breakfasts aren't your thing, why don't we try dinner sometime?", and then it has his phone number. (Bt) Oh, and he left me a twenty-dollar tip!

ANDREA: (incredulous) For a freakin' accident?! Jesus, I pour coffee on people on purpose all the time, and I don't get jack for tips!

(She stalks outside, where Amy and Kristovo are loading up the red convertible.)

RUTH: Rita, are you sure you should go out with a man you hardly know? What if he's a stalker?

RITA: Oh, mother, you say that about all my dates.

RUTH: And with good reason. (pointed) Remember Bruno?

RITA: Bruno's safely locked away. Besides, I don't think it could technically be called kidnapping, since I enjoyed it. (Bt) That and it was my idea to begin with.

RUTH: (incredulous) What?!

RITA: I tried telling that to the judge, but he threw out my testimony, claimed I was drunk. (Bt) Which I was. But I have better judgment now that I'm in A.A.

RUTH: And doesn't A.A. recommend you avoid relationships while you're recovering?

RITA: I just... (looks at Amy and Kristovo making kissy-face through the window) ...I see Amy and Kristovo together, and getting along so well... I'm just tired of always being alone or with losers! I think I'm ready to settle down.

(Cut to Amy and Kristovo outside. Kristovo lifts the last suitcase into the car, straining his massive muscles, and practically throws out his back doing so.)

KRISTOVO: For crying out loud, Amy! What on Earth are you taking?!

AMY: I--

(He sets the case on the pavement and unzips it. Andrea tumbles out. She's been hiding inside in an effort to stow away with them on the assignment.)

AMY: Nice try, Andrea.

ANDREA: Dammit!

(The car pulls away from the bakery, Amy driving, and speeds down the street out of sight. At the same time, Amara rounds the corner, her Society tattoo concealed by a fake cast and sling over her left forearm. She reaches the bakery door at the same time as Andrea.)

ANDREA: (shoves her aside, goes in first) Outta my way, lady.

AMARA: (enters, puts money on the counter) One plain bagel, please.

(Ruth bends over to get one from inside the glass display.)

AMARA: (pretends to look around for someone) And is Amy Barksdale here?

RUTH: Oh, you just missed her, dear. (proud) She's on assignment, she's an undercover FBI agent, you know.

AMARA: Did she say where she was going?

RUTH: Barcelona, I believe. That's in Spain. Lovely weather there this time of year, I hear. (hands Amara the bagel, smiles) You enjoy that, now.

(cut to: )

SCENE 5 (Outside Bakery)

(Looking vaguely relieved, Amara takes out her phone and hits a button.)

(Cut to overhead shot of Corona's sprawling beachside mansion. Sound effect of phone ringing, then cut to inside, a spacious dance hall with a large bar occupying one whole end. Closeup on the counter, pan across a terrarium lined with dried grass and small tree branches to show a large tarantula crawling up the web tattoos of Corona's arm.)

CORONA: (answers phone) Yes?

(Back to Amara.)

AMARA: Ms Coronada, it's Amara.

CORONA: Have you taken care of Amy Barksdale?

AMARA: No. But I have better news. (Bt) You get to do it yourself.

(Back to Corona, her smile broadens.)

AMARA: (over phone) Amy Barksdale is coming to you.

(Hang up. Corona turns her attention back to the bar, picks up a bottle. Closeup identifies it as the Mexican beer, Corona. She scowls, smashes it against the counter, then reassumes her smile and strokes the pet spider.)

END OF ACT ONE

-- COMMERCIALS --

ACT TWO

SCENE 1

(Open on a wide shot of a government-style building in the heart of a cramped European city. White letters at the bottom of the screen identify it as, "American Consulate - Barcelona, Spain.")

(Cut to an interior office. Amy and Kristovo are being briefed by an Interpol agent. Both are dressed professionally: Kristovo wears a suit and tie, Amy a blouse with matching skirt and blazer. Also in the room is a 60-ish black woman in a red jumpsuit with an aviator's cap and goggles under one arm.)

INTERPOL AGENT: (pointing out locations on a pull-down map) The Coronada mansion is on the southern tip of the Ibiza island. It doubles as her private dance club, and there's a rave tonight, so you should have no trouble slipping inside. (gestures to the black woman) This is Agent Baxter, she'll be flying you in and out via chopper.

(Baxter nods.)

INTERPOL AGENT: (frowns) I should also mention that we don't normally handle matters this way, but we're doing the Bureau a favor here. Interpol already has an undercover agent working this case. You're free to take Coronada, but we want the rest of the Society once we accumulate enough evidence. Above all you must not jeopardize our agent's cover. Make no attempt at contact. I don't have to tell you what the Society will do if they find a traitor in their midst.

BAXTER: Better brief 'em on the weather, chief.

INTERPOL AGENT: Yes, one additional variable: The weather satellites have picked up a storm massing in the eastern Meditteranean, moving west. The island will soon be hit by severe rains, causing mudslides along the coastline. We estimate you'll have just over three hours to get in and out before it hits. (Bt, looks to Amy) Five, if you hadn't lost your luggage.

AMY: Hey, that wasn't my fault!

INTERPOL AGENT: And stopped for lunch.

AMY: (defensive) Hey... one of the airport kiosks had cheese fries!

(cut to: )

SCENE 2 (Barksdale Bakery)

(Ruth enters to find Andrea slouching against the counter, picking her teeth with a switchblade. She's wearing her usual Goth getup.)

RUTH: Andrea, you'd better get cleaned up! You can't go out looking like that!

ANDREA: And just where might I be going?

RUTH: Your little friend will be here any minute.

ANDREA: Who the hell are you t--

(The bell rings as the front door opens and Ryan, the boy from Andrea's class, enters. He's dressed the same as we've seen him before: loose, baggy clothes and a backwards baseball cap with spiky hair sticking out the front.)

RYAN: (friendly if a bit awkward) Heyyyy, Andrea!

ANDREA: (to Ruth) Oh Jesus, you didn't!

RUTH: Ryan stopped in earlier, while you were out. I invited him to come by tonight, he seems like a very nice boy. (winks) You have excellent taste, sweetheart.

ANDREA: You set me up?! You bitch!!

RUTH: Now now, dear. It's perfectly normal at your age to be dating a boy. Besides, with all three of you out of the way, I just may close up early tonight and concentrate on that slogan.

RYAN: (to Ruth) Hey, I thought of one! (puts his arm around Andrea, leers a bit) "The only thing hotter than the freshly-baked cookies is the kitchen help!"

ANDREA: (shrugs him off) Or, "We're not just a bakery, we're a [bleep]ing dating service too."

RUTH: Well, I'll leave you two alone. (turns, goes back into the kitchen)

ANDREA: (sighs) Alright, let's go. (takes out her cigs) But you better friggin' let me smoke in your car.

RYAN: Um... actually, I don't have a car. (holds up his skateboard) I brought one for you too. (smiles, holds up another)

(Andrea adopts a very, very sour expression.)

(cut to: )

SCENE 3 (Club Coronada)

(A sprawling dance hall in Corona Coronada's island mansion. Open with wide shot of the stage. The curtain rises amid smoke and lasers, and a DJ onstage kicks off a Hi-NRG dance mix with a Latin rhythm. Corona takes center stage, wearing her black gown, split to the thigh. The DJ kicks up the beat, and a row of female dancers appear behind Corona, who struts about, looking sultry.)

SINGERS: Who's the evil villainess
SINGERS: Who's just as skilled at killing as
SINGERS: She is adept at filling us
SINGERS: In on plot detaaaails???

(Drumbeat escalates into a fast roll as the dancers erupt into movement.)

SINGERS: It's Co-RO-na!
SINGERS: She works here all alone-a
SINGERS: On grand designs unknown-a
SINGERS: No one knows the truuuth!

SINGERS: Co-RO-na!
SINGERS: But soon the world is gonna,
SINGERS: Like Ponce de León-a
SINGERS: She has found the Fountain... of Youth!

(Synthesized percussive riff.)

SINGERS: So who'll give us satiety
SINGERS: As a reward for all our piety
SINGERS: By explaining her Society
SINGERS: And what it all entaaaails???

SINGERS: Co-RO-na!
SINGERS: (echo) Co-RO-na!
SINGERS: It's her club and she's the own-ah
SINGERS: Her name is like the beer Corona
SINGERS: Except she hates it when you say that... so don't!

(Corona spins and mock-threatens the dancers at this last part. Build to a fluorish.)

SINGERS: Co-RO-na!
SINGERS: (echo) Co-RO-na!
SINGERS: On the telephone-a!
SINGERS: (echo) Co-RO-na!
SINGERS: From here to Barcelona!
SINGERS: (echo) Co-RO-na!
SINGERS: Then running in Pomplona!
SINGERS: (echo) Co-RO-na!
SINGERS: And on to fair Verona!
SINGERS: Everybody sing Co-RO-NAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

(The crowd erupts into cheers as the dancers freeze, Corona in a triumphant pose.)

(cut to: )

SCENE 4 (Over the Mediterranean Sea)

(Overhead shot as the helicopter whizzes by, its searchlight reflected off the Mediterranean expanse below. It's nearly dusk.)

AMY: (voice-over) Boy, that dance number was corny. I'm glad we weren't in it!

(Cut to cockpit. Baxter flies, Kristovo sits in the co-pilot's seat reviewing the case file. Amy emerges from the back holding a large black two-handed weapon and a matching fuel pack with straps for wearing it on one's back.)

AMY: Hey, look what I found back here!

BAXTER: Ah, my flamethrower! (laughs) Not standard-issue, I guarantee you that! Too bad it's a little conspicuous, I'd let ya take it in!

(She puts the flamethrower aside and stands between them, leaning with an arm on each chair.)

KRISTOVO: (to Amy, looks up from file) Wish I'd had this five years ago in D.C.!

AMY: Anything good in there, 'Stovito?

KRISTOVO: Just what I'd suspected -- she really is 30, only looks 18. But according to Interpol the birthdate in the FBI's file is wrong. Coronada has almost the same birthdate as me... only one day's difference!

AMY: (to Baxter, shouts to be heard over the chopper blades) How much further?

BAXTER: (shouts back) 'Bout twenty minutes. (tosses Amy a pair of binoculars) Can see the island on the horizon, city's on the southern tip. From Barcelona we're 300 kilometers south-southwest.

AMY: (to camera) See? My show's educational! (pleading look) Please don't let them cancel it!

KRISTOVO: (to Baxter) Are you coming in with us?

BAXTER: (chuckles) Hell no, Martinez. Think I'm riskin' my life for this woman? I got five grandkids and I'm one week away from retirement!

(Begin instrumental version of the theme music. Dissolve to a map showing a red line drawn diagonally from Barcelona to Ibiza, indicating their progress, then when it touches the island, dissolve back.)

(Baxter sets the chopper down on the leeward side of a hill. Amy and Kristovo climb out and move toward the mansion, looking for a back entrance, when an armed guard spots them.)

GUARD: Halt! Who goes there?

(Kristovo grabs the guard's arms from behind, forcing him to his knees. Amy tears open a carton of cigarettes she's brought along, stuffs a bunch of them into the guard's mouth, and lights them all at once. She then holds the guard's nose tightly, forcing him to breathe through his mouth and smoke them. He chokes and sputters helplessly before collapsing to the ground.)

AMY: (turns to camera) Remember, kids: Smoking can kill you!

(A second guard rounds the corner, spots them.)

GUARD #2: Hey, what the hell's goin' on here?!

(Kristovo lifts the collapsed guard and spins him to face the new arrival. Amy squeezes the first guard tightly around the chest, causing him to exhale a puff of smoke into the second guard's face.)

GUARD #2: Second-hand smoke! AARRRRGHHH!! (Choking and gagging, he collapses to the ground and expires.)

AMY: (to camera, holds up cigarettes) And these were duty-free at the airport, too!

(cut to: )

SCENE 5 (Club Coronada)

(Amy and Kristovo step into the crowded, noisy club from a side door. Pan across the club. Thumping music and lasers howl across the dance floor. On one end is the bar, and the adjacent side has a large stage. Onstage, a DJ with turntable spins a continuous mix. On one side, near the front, a long metal pole runs from stage to ceiling.)

KRISTOVO: We need to find Coronada's private quarters.

AMY: (grabs him) Wait!

KRISTOVO: (tenses, hand on gun instantly) What is it?

AMY: (sniffs the air) I smell cheese fries!

KRISTOVO: What is it with you and cheese fries?

AMY: I'm gonna go snag some, I'll catch up with you!

(Before Kristovo can object, Amy is weaving her way through the crowd of people dancing, standing around talking, etc. All the guys turn and stare at her, and she gets her share of lame pickup lines.)

GUY: (moves to block her path) Heya, beautiful! There's a party goin' on in my pants, and you're invited!

(Amy gives a "look" to the camera, then swings her fist--)

(cut to: )

SCENE 6 (Foyer of Fancy Restaurant, Stantonville)

(Use Amy's fist as a scene transition, switching to Andrea's as it slams into someone's face.)

(Back up to medium shot, Andrea standing over a fallen maître d' as Ryan looks on admiringly.)

MAÎTRE D': (gets to his feet, intimidated, placating) I'm so sorry miss, of course you're free to dress however you like, the customer is always right, we'll find a table for you and your friend right away.

(Andrea smirks. So does Ryan.)

(cut to: )

SCENE 7 (Another fancy restaurant, Stantonville)

(Rita with Marcus, at a candlelit table.)

MARCUS: So, tell me about yourself.

RITA: (thinks) Well... there's not a whole lot to say, really. I grew up in Rutherford, I've lived here all my life... took two semesters of junior college but was just tired of school and I had no idea what I wanted out of life... I considered modeling but never felt I was attractive enough... So I ended up working for the family business, now I'm pretty much stuck there. No degree, no other practical work experience...

(Abruptly, Rita breaks down crying.)

MARCUS: (puts a hand on hers) What is it? What's wrong?

RITA: (sobs) Oh, GOD I suck!

(cut to: )

SCENE 8 (Club Coronada)

(A small back office near the bar. Its prominent fixtures are a desk with a computer, and the terrarium housing Corona's pet tarantula. Amy and Kristovo have slipped inside, and are busy securing the door.)

KRISTOVO: We need to find a map of this place.

AMY: There's probably a diagram on this thing. (switches on computer) Okay, let's see if I can break the password. We'll try last name first. (cracks her knuckles, then types) "Cor... on... ada". (hits enter)

KRISTOVO: (reads screen) Access denied.

AMY: Damn. All right then... what's her birthdate again?

KRISTOVO: October 15th, 1970. (a bit annoyed Amy didn't remember) One day later than mine.

AMY: Oh. Right.

(Amy types.)

KRISTOVO: (reads screen) Access denied.

AMY: Double-damn. (Bt) Okay, take three. (looks around, spots the spider in the terrarium) Favorite pet's name.

KRISTOVO: (reads name on a piece of tape stuck on the glass) "Diablito."

(Amy types, and is rewarded with a friendly beep.)

AMY: Yes! Access granted! Okay, now let's try... (types) "Open... all... secret... files."

KRISTOVO: (looks at computer screen) Why doesn't this thing use a cursor?

AMY: (cycling through documents) Aha, here we go.

(A schematic of the Coronada mansion appears onscreen.)

AMY: (points) Here, this room marked "ultra-top-secret lab".

KRISTOVO: And how do we get there from here?

AMY: (studies the map) Backstage.

KRISTOVO: (smiles, admiring) How do you do it, Amy? How does a PhD in bioengineering and a Master in chemistry hack a top-secret computer system on only the third try?

AMY: (smirks) I minored in cryptography.

(cut to: )

SCENE 9 (Fancy Restaurant)

(Andrea and Ryan sit at a table in a corner. It's obvious the maître d' has stuck them as far from the other patrons as possible.)

RYAN: (nervous) Hope this is okay. (looking around, makes lame attempt at conversation) Pretty nice place.

ANDREA: (mutters, scornful) Buncha freakin' suit-snots and their rich-bitch wives...

(Cut to Andrea's POV, she's watching one couple in particular -- a man in an expensive Armani suit and a woman wearing one of those hats with fake birds. The woman is complaining to the maître d, a bit too loudly for Andrea.)

WOMAN: (fade in her voice, it's been going on in the background for awhile) Excuse me, waiter... Waiter? Yes, it seems I was brought a Caesar, even after I distinctly ordered a tossed salad. I suggest you bring me a tossed salad right away, seeing as how that's what I ordered to begin with--

(Andrea loses it. She stands and heads straight over to them, snatching up a salad from another table as she goes. Ryan gets a delighted look, he loves it when she does this.)

WOMAN: (to her husband) Is it really so hard for a restaurant to serve a simple tossed salad?

ANDREA: Awright, bitch, I've had just about enough of your whining. You want a tossed salad? HUH? YOU WANT A TOSSED SALAD?!

(Andrea hurls the one she's carrying at the woman, striking her squarely in the head, knocking off her hat and sending lettuce and bits of radish scattering everywhere.)

ANDREA: THERE'S your goddamn tossed salad! Now will you please shut the [bleep] up so the rest of us can eat in peace?!

(Quick jump-cut as Andrea returns to Ryan's table.)

ANDREA: (to a delighted Ryan) God, some people are so inconsiderate.

(The owner appears at their table, a stern look on his face.)

ANDREA: (glances up at him) So, okay, I think we're ready to order now. (Bt) I'll have the tossed salad.

(Cut to exterior shot, the awning covering the restaurant entrance. The owner hastily escorts Andrea and Ryan out, and tapes a "Banned For Life" poster with Andrea's picture to the inside of the glass front door.)

ANDREA: (calls back at him) Yeah, well your food tastes like [bleep] anyway, [bleep]-head!

RYAN: Well, so far we've gone to three different places, and been thrown out of all of them.

ANDREA: Eh. You get used to it after awhile.

RYAN: So... what d'you wanna do now?

ANDREA: I dunno... (mischievous smirk) You ever robbed a gas station?

(cut to: )

SCENE 10 (Club Coronada)

(Kristovo waits as the printer spits up a copy of the mansion layout. Amy continues typing, and a scanned parchment diagram of a clock appears onscreen.)

AMY: Hey Kristovo, look at this. It's the timepiece Coronada was after!

KRISTOVO: I think we'd better get out of here.

(Amy moves to power off the computer, but stops as a window pops open and some words flash onto the screen: "Ms Coronada?")

AMY: Uh-oh. I think we've been spotted.

KRISTOVO: (looks at text) We're signed in as Coronada, they must think we're her. Type something, play along.

(Amy types. Her text appears in a different color than the other person's.)

AMY: (talks as she types) "Yes, I'm here."

(Pause. A reply appears.)

KRISTOVO: (reads the other party's response) "I'm in Charles deGaulle. Has Barksdale arrived yet?"

AMY: Oh my God... they know about us. (types) "Not yet, I'm keeping watch."

(Pause, then another reply.)

KRISTOVO: (reads) "I thought you had the stage tonight."

AMY: What the hell...? (types, lamely, not knowing how to respond) "We finished early."

(Tense pause. Then: "Who is this?")

AMY: (types) "Corona Coronada." (to Kristovo) Should I put some extra "R"s in, do you think?

(Pause. The screen responds with: "Then who am I?")

AMY: Uh-oh.

KRISTOVO: Turn it off.

AMY: Are you crazy?! If we do that they'll know it's us!

(Amy continues to type.)

KRISTOVO: What are you doing?

AMY: Bluffing. (reads) "Okay, I'm actually Coronada's superior, signed in as her."

(The reply: "If you say so. And is the Latino gentleman there too?")

AMY: (guessing) Um... I'll go with... (types) "Yes."

(Pause... "I knew it was you, Amy.")

(Horrified, Amy jerks her hands off the keyboard like it's hot, shuts the machine off in a panic.)

AMY: They know we're here!

KRISTOVO: (dry) Really, you think so?

(cut to: )

SCENE 11 (Club Coronada)

(Overhead shot of the dancing crowd, then cut to Amy and Kristovo moving from the office to one side of the stage. The DJ finishes his set, and the lights over the stage go dark as the crowd cheers.)

KRISTOVO: (nudges Amy) Now's our chance. Go.

(Using the darkness as cover, the two agents climb onto the stage and inch their way toward the back. Apparently they trip some kind of motion-sensor, though, because an instant later the stage is awash in blazing light. Kristovo reacts quickly and darts behind a massive speaker, but Amy is caught in full view of the crowd.)

(cut to: )

SCENE 12 (Restaurant)

(Marcus and Rita, who's since calmed down at Marcus' words.)

MARCUS: Come now, there must be more to you than that. I'm sure you've done something interesting and exciting in your twenty-five years...

RITA: (corrects him) Twenty-eight. (Bt, this depresses her, then she thinks) Well... (blushes) I have been sculpted nude before. And I used to go skydiving with my sixteenth boyfriend, and...

(Remembering her previous failed relationships, Rita bursts into tears again. Marcus looks uncomfortable as people turn to stare.)

(cut to: )

SCENE 13 (Rutherford Park)

(Ryan skillfully maneuvers his board up and down the curved walls of a large U-pipe. Andrea leans against one side of it, looking bored.)

ANDREA: (watching him) Wow. All that's missing is the freakin' Mountain Dew.

RYAN: (stops) C'mon, it's not that hard. Don't be afraid.

ANDREA: I'm not afraid of a goddamn thing.

RYAN: Then just try it, okay?

(Andrea rolls her eyes, sighs, but climbs into the pipe and mounts the board Ryan gave her. She gives a small push with her foot and does a small roll partway up one side before her momentum gives out and she slides straight backward, loses her balance, and lands roughly on her stomach.)

RYAN: Hey, you okay?

(Ryan jumps off his board and runs over to help her up. In his haste he falls over himself, and the two of their faces end up inches apart. His lips move close to hers...)

ANDREA: All right, hold it right there.

RYAN: What... you don't like... kissing?

ANDREA: (sarcastic) Oh, quite the contrary. I love sucking on a big long fleshy tube, full of crap on the other end. That's what you're doing when you make out, you realize. (Bt) So... you still wanna suck on the end of my crap-tube?

RYAN: (gets to his feet, that killed the mood) Um... maybe later.

ANDREA: That's the spirit. (she gets up too) C'mon, I'll show you where my coven worships.

(cut to: )

SCENE 14 (Club Coronada)

(Amy is stuck onstage with the rowdy crowd of hundreds staring at her, a few people throwing things. She glances back at Kristovo, who points to himself, then toward backstage. Amy just looks confused -- if she makes a move to join him it'll blow their cover. Kristovo then points at Amy, then the crowd, indicating she's to keep them occupied, create a distraction that will let him slip backstage.)

AMY: (picks up microphone) Um... ladies and gentlemen, er... The show will be starting up again in a minute, so if you'll all just settle down...

(Zero in on a couple of enthusiastic guys in the crowd.)

GUY #1: (shouts to Amy) Take it off!!

GUY #2: Take it all off!!

GUY #1: But not all at once! Take one thing off at a time, slowly! And dance as you're doing it, maybe swing around that pole a bit, too!!

GUY #2: Yeah!! What he said!

(Amy's eyes widen a little, but she realizes this is just the sort of distraction Kristovo needs. Smirking, she undoes her gunbelt, and tosses it behind her. On the floor, the DJ shrugs, climbs onstage, and moves back to his turntable, preparing to fire off a second set. The crowd cheers as Amy pulls off her jacket and begins unbuttoning her top.)

AMY: (smirks, to camera) Boy, does this ever take me back...!

(She twirls the jacket around her head and tosses it into the crowd. Behind her, Kristovo makes his way through a backstage doorway.)

(cut to: )

SCENE 15 (Backstage)

(In shadows, Kristovo looks around, hand on the gun under his jacket, trying to look inconspicuous, like he knows where he's going. Suddenly we hear the sharp click of another gun.)

VOICE: (behind him) Hold it right therrre, handsome.

(Pan slightly to Kristovo's side, revealing it's Corona holding a gun on him.)

CORONA: Hands behind your head.

(Kristovo complies.)

CORONA: (jabs him in the back with the gun muzzle) Walk.

(Corona steers him to a thick metal door, swipes a card through a slot and punches in a code. The door opens and she nudges him through. Cut to inside, a medical laboratory lined with chemicals and high-tech equipment, the gleaming metal walls giving everything an icy sterility. A large one-way window looks out on the world but allows no one to peer inside.)

(Corona directs Kristovo to stand against an upright table with manacles attached. He does so, and she clicks a button that locks them shut around his arms and legs so Kristovo can't move.)

CORONA: (levels the gun between his eyes) Who arrrre you?

KRISTOVO: Special Agent Martinez, FBI. (nods toward his jacket) My badge is in there.

(Corona frisks the jacket and extracts the ID.)

CORONA: (studies it, skeptical) You sure you're not Interpol?

KRISTOVO: (shakes his head) No.

CORONA: We'll see about that.

(She pulls a hypodermic needle from one of the tables, rips Kristovo's sleeve up to the elbow, and draws blood.)

CORONA: We have agents in every major institution, the entire worrrld's population is on file here. If you're lying to me, I will know in a matter of seconds.

(Kristovo says nothing. Corona carefully places a few drops of blood onto a glass slide and inserts it into one of the machines.)

CORONA: (turns back to Kristovo) Where is Amy Barksdale?

KRISTOVO: I came here alone.

CORONA: (smirks, knows this is a lie) Pity. No one to rrrrescue you.

(The machine beeps, indicating it's done, and flashes the words "DNA analysis complete" onscreen.)

CORONA: (reads the output) "Martinez, Kristovo. Federal Bureau of Investigation, badge number 80215..."

KRISTOVO: Satisfied, Ms Coronada?

(But Corona's eyes widen as she continues reading, and she actually drops the gun onto the floor.)

CORONA: This... this can't be! (Turns to face Kristovo in amazement.) According to the DNA analyzer... you are my... twin brother!!

END OF ACT TWO

-- COMMERCIALS --

ACT THREE

SCENE 1 (Club Coronada)

(Outside, the trees sway violently, and the ocean slams at the shore in the approaching storm. There's a sharp crack of thunder, with lightning at the same time, followed by heavy rain. Hold on establishing shot, then cut to inside.)

(Wide shot of the crowded club, then closeup onstage. Swaying to the booming techno drumbeat, Amy slowly undoes the zipper on the back of her skirt. Cut to closeup of her ankles as the skirt drops around them. One foot, still in a high heeled shoe, steps out, and with the other, Amy kicks the skirt into the audience where it lands on some guy's head. She's now down to nothing but her exquisite strapless lace bra and a pair of skimpy underpants.)

(Zoom into the crowd, where we make out Amy's niece Daria Morgendorffer and her friend Jane Lane. Jane's bouncing to the music, getting into it, having a time, but Daria stands rigid with her arms crossed.)

DARIA: (talks loudly to be heard over the dance-floor anthem) All right, I know it's in our contract... but what exactly is the point of us being in this place?

JANE: C'mon, Daria, for once in your life, loosen up a little! Your aunt's getting naked up there, and I gotta say, she looks pretty hot! I wonder what a lap dance costs?

DARIA: (grabs Jane by her V-neck collar) You are not a lesbian, Lane!

JANE: All I'm saying is, if we hafta do this crap anyway, let's have some fun with it. (Bt) Hey, do that thing with my collar again.

DARIA: (arms crossed again) What? (grabs the collar like she did before) This, you mean?

JANE: Yeah. (Bt) Only tug it lower, so the viewers can see down my shirt. Maybe leer a little bit, too.

(Daria lets out a disgusted sigh, releases Jane, and stalks away. Wide shot of the club, zoom to Amy dancing onstange, swaying her body to the music, swinging around the metal pole, etc. Finally, seeing that Kristovo has made it backstage, she stops.)

AMY: Okay, I think that's enough. (Bt) God, I freakin' hate this music.

(Closeup of the two guys in the crowd, from before.)

GUY #1: (shouts) No! Keep going!!

GUY #2: Lose the underpants next!

GUY #1: (to Guy #2) What, are you crazy?! She's s'posed to take off the bra before the underpants!

GUY #2: Says who?!

GUY #1: That's the way they always do it!

GUY #2: So just because it's traditional, that automatically makes it right?!

GUY #1: Aww, shuddup, you jerk!

GUY #2: You're the jerk, jerk!

(The two guys start shoving each other, and it immediately escalates into an all-out riot. Amy takes advantage of the distraction to snatch up her gunbelt. She glances around the stage for the rest of her clothing, then realizes she's tossed it into the audience. Looking awkward, she moves behind the curtain. Cut to a darkened backstage area. Amy hears someone coming and slips into a nearby dressing room. From the other direction a woman in a strapless gown enters the same room. Pause, then:)

WOMAN'S VOICE: ¿QuiŽnes son usted?

(Sounds of a scuffle, someone getting punched. The woman emerges, slightly disheveled, adjusting her gown back into place. A few seconds later, Amy comes out, still in her underwear, but now with a black eye as well.)

(cut to: )

SCENE 2 (Corona's Laboratory)

(Closeup of the large one-way window. Rain spatters against the pane. Pan to lab. Corona has unchained Kristovo -- he now leans against one of the workbenches. Corona has a cigarette in a long holder, and she smokes it as the two talk. She appears more subdued, not scheming or calculating, as she studies Kristovo.)

KRISTOVO: This... this is all so sudden. Where do I begin? The only family I've ever known has been my father.

CORONA: He and our mother split not long after we were borrrn. Quite odd how that worked out: Ten minutes aparrrrt, your birth shortly before midnight, mine shortly after. That's why I never found you before, I'd given up looking. (smiles at him) You have mother's eyes.

KRISTOVO: (awed) Is she still alive?

CORONA: (hesitstes, then...) Yes. Though... I've had no contact with her for yearrrrs.

KRISTOVO: Father's dead.

(Corona nods.)

KRISTOVO: Why did you run away from home as a child?

CORONA: (hesitates) I... hated my childhood. The way everyone, even Mom, teased me about... my name.

KRISTOVO: Because it's like the Mexican beer?

CORONA: (looks like she's about to strangle him, then...) Yes.

KRISTOVO: Can I ask you about something other than your past?

CORONA: Very well.

KRISTOVO: What exactly is this Society you belong to?

(Corona regards him warily.)

KRISTOVO: (assures her) I am asking as your brother, not as an FBI agent.

CORONA: And you will tell no one? Not Interpol or the Burrreau?

KRISTOVO: On my honor.

CORONA: Not even Amy? (Bt) I'd prefer to rrreveal it to her myself, at an appropriate time, in the trrradition of evil villains everywhere.

KRISTOVO: (smiles) Understood.

CORONA: We began over 400 yearrrs ago...

(Cue appropriately "mysterious" music, flashback to a darkened 16th-century laboratory filled with lots of beakers and flasks, tubes, bubbling pots, etc.)

CORONA: ...when our Leader discovered the secrets to unlimited wealth, and eterrrrnal life.

KRISTOVO: And who was that?

(Pan to an early chemist in dark robes, poring over a concoction.)

CORONA: Philippus Aureolus Parrracelsus. (pause) An alchemist. Creator of the Philosopher's Stone, which transmutes earthly metals into gold, and the Elixir of Life, with which he could live foreverrrr...

(Dissolve to shot of the man speaking to an assemblage of other 16th-century scientists.)

CORONA: He entrrrusted his formula to a small group of followers he deemed worthy, who over the years became the Secret Society. They in turn built up a fortune, recruited new members, amassed an arrrmy... yet remained perpetually hidden among the rest of the worrrld.

(Dissolve back to present, Kristovo and Corona.)

KRISTOVO: And the artifacts you've been gathering. What is their purpose?

CORONA: That... I cannot tell you. If I did, I would have to kill you. (Bt, looks at him significantly) Orrrr make you one of us...

(The two turn as a series of beeps are emitted from the security door. A short pause, and we hear someone slamming themselves against the door from the other side in an effort to break it down.)

CORONA: (wry, to Kristovo) Doctor Barksdale, I prrresume?

(She punches a nearby switch and the door swings open. Amy, who's taken a step back to throw herself against it again, tumbles through and lands on the floor. She's still in her underwear.)

KRISTOVO: Amy!

CORONA: (snickers) Nice outfit, Amy.

AMY: (vicious) You!

(She gets to her feet, gun unholstered.)

KRISTOVO: Amy, this is incredible, Ms Coronada and I have just learned--

AMY: What are you waiting for?! Help me arrest her!

KRISTOVO: You don't understand! She's my sister!

AMY: She's a killer, Kristovo!

(Amy cocks the gun, points it at Corona's head. Desperate, Kristovo draws his own gun and trains it on Amy, who responds by swinging her own weapon in his direction. For a brief, very intense, moment, the two are locked in a standoff. Flash of lightning from outside, accompanied by thunder.)

KRISTOVO: Drop your gun, Amy!

AMY: YOU DROP YOURS, KRISTOVO!

KRISTOVO: I asked you first!

AMY: (practically frothing) AND I ASKED YOU SECOND!!

(cut to: )

SCENE 3 (Restaurant)

(Marcus and Rita.)

MARCUS: (sighs, he's running out of conversation topics) So... what's your family like?

RITA: Um... can we not talk about them?

MARCUS: (annoyed) Look, Rita. I think you're great, and I am giving my best effort at having an open conversation in an attempt to get to know you better. So may I ask you one question without having you turn it into a lamentation of your past failures?

RITA: (quietly) Okay.

MARCUS: (satisfied, turns the conversation back) Your sister seems nice.

RITA: Amy? Oh, she's okay, most of the time. She's a chemist and undercover FBI agent, you know. And she's beautiful and brave and independent, and she's... (breaks down bawling again) EVERYTHING I'M NOT!!!

(cut to: )

SCENE 4 (Club Coronada)

(Exterior shot, the chopper resting on the side of the hill, which is beginning to drip with mud from the relentless rain. Hold, then cut to interior. Amy and Kristovo still hold each other at gunpoint.)

AMY: I'm warning you, Kristovo...!

CORONA: (serious) Be careful, she'll do it. She's a total basket-case!

AMY: (to Corona) YOU SHUT UP!

(Tense pause, then all three are startled by a sudden loud crackle of static.)

VOICE: Barksdale, Martinez, come in!

(Kristovo tracks the source of the voice to the radio transmitter clipped to his belt.)

KRISTOVO: It's Baxter. (answers) Go ahead, Baxter.

(Cut to interior of the chopper. Baxter is starting up the rotors. Rain hammers the windows, and through them we can see a sluggish wave of mud beginning to ooze downhill.)

BAXTER: The spit just hit the fan out here, I can't stay grounded much longer! We don't get out now, we don't get out at all! And I for one am not about to die here... Did I mention I'm only a week away from retirement?

KRISTOVO: We're on our way. (hangs up) All right. (holsters his weapon, raises his hands placatingly) Enough nonsense, Amy. We have to get out of here.

AMY: I'm not leaving until this bitch gets what's coming to her!

(A sudden, loud creak draws everyone's attention. The running mud is accumulating at the bottom of the hill outside, pressing against the lab's single large window, which is about to give. A jagged crack appears and quickly splits the window.)

(Rapid-cut closeups of each character's face: Kristovo, Amy, and then Corona, who takes advantage of Amy's inattention to yank a keyboard from one of the terminals and knock the gun out of Amy's hands.)

(The gun slides across the tile floor. The two women lunge for it just as the window breaks, sending a huge torrent of slimy mud pouring in. Kristovo climbs onto a workbench, but the other two get drenched, the mud flow sending them sliding across the room.)

(The gun is buried, and they begin feeling around in the muck, each trying to reach it before the other. Amy gets to it first, but before she can use it, Corona is on her, lunging from behind. She and Amy fight for the gun, Amy tearing at Corona's dress, Corona clawing at Amy's eyes, both of them covered with mud.)

(Amy gets the gun, but is unable to use it before Corona splashes mud in her eyes. Blinded, Amy drops it again. Corona knocks her down and puts her knees on Amy's arms. The gun lands right next to Amy's head, but she can't get it while Corona has her pinned. Corona reaches for the pistol but Amy bites her hand.)

(Surprise on her side, Amy is able to get Corona off her back and go for the gun again, but Corona reacts quickly and soon there are two pairs of hands on the weapon, neither one able to overpower the other enough to aim it.)

AMY + CORONA: (unison) Kristovo, help me!

(But Kristovo just stands there, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, watching.)

KRISTOVO: Wow, this is hot!

AMY: (protests) For Christsake, Kristovo, she's your sister!

KRISTOVO: (snaps out of it) Oh. Right. (takes Corona's arms, pulls her away, explains) Amy knows karate, you might get hurt.

AMY: (pounds her fists in the mud, shrieks) THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!

(cut to: )

SCENE 5 (Barksdale residence, Rutherford)

(Ryan coasts his board up the sidewalk to the front door, Andrea behind.)

RYAN: (as Andrea wobbles up) Hey, not bad. You're gettin' the hang of it.

ANDREA: (dismounts) Whatever.

RYAN: C'mon, tonight was really fun! I wish I could see Principal Tingle's face when he opens his mailbox tomorrow! (looks into her eyes) You are just unbelievable, Andrea.

ANDREA: Yeah, that's what my Grandma always says. (Bt) And I gotta say... this evening didn't totally suck.

(Ryan leans closer.)

ANDREA: (holds him off) Don't push it, skate-boy.

(Ryan looks at her with hopeful, puppy-dog eyes.)

ANDREA: (relents) All right, but just a small one. On the cheek.

(Ryan closes his eyes and gives her a quick peck. Andrea decks him, and he goes sprawling.)

ANDREA: (guilty) Sorry. Reflex action.

(cut to: )

SCENE 6 (Marcus' Home)

(Marcus and Rita, on the front porch.)

MARCUS: So, would you like to come in for coffee? (smiles) I promise not to spill it on you.

(Rita's face starts to crumple again.)

MARCUS: What? What is wrong now?! It was a joke!.

RITA: I just... I finally meet a nice guy who sees me as more than just a potential sex partner, and it... it just reminds me of how much I've wasted my life already!

MARCUS: (gives her a shoulder to cry on) Aww, hey, c'mon... It's in the past, let it go.

RITA: (sniffles) I... I can't.

MARCUS: (finally gives up) Then call me when you can. When you've grown up a little and have some notion of what you want out of life.

(He goes inside, leaving a heartbroken Rita on the porch.)

(cut to: )

SCENE 7 (Corona's Laboratory)

(Amy still sits in the mud. Kristovo offers a hand to help her up.)

KRISTOVO: Come on, Amy, let's go.

(Still upset with Kristovo, Amy slaps his hand away and attempts to stand on her own, but slips and lands face-first in the mud. Corona breaks into derisive laughter. Kristovo tries to cover his own laughter with a cough, but he can't help himself, and it soon escalates into a louder outburst than we've ever heard from him before.)

KRISTOVO: (between chuckles) Oh, my poor, sweet Amy! Please let me help you up! (offers his hand again)

(Amy's face burns with rage and humiliation, when she spots the mud-covered gun right next to her. Corona turns away, doubled over with laughter. Slow-motion shot: Before Kristovo can stop her, Amy is on her knees, pointing the gun at Corona's back, pulling the trigger...)

KRISTOVO: (too late) Nnnnooooooooo...!

(Slo-mo sound effect of the bullet, Corona reeling from the impact, crumpling to the floor. Amy stands, breathing hard through her teeth, and gives a coldly triumphant smirk before hurling the gun aside.)

AMY: There. Mission accomplished. Let's go, Kristovo.

(Amy climbs through the broken window, and is out. Kristovo leans over his sister, inspecting the wound.)

KRISTOVO: (professional, though his voice is choked) It's not bad. Through the shoulder. She's a lousy shot when she's angry. But you need medical attention.

(Corona points to a glass cabinet on the wall and attempts to speak.)

KRISTOVO: What? What is it?

CORONA: (weakly) There... the Elixir...

(Close-up on a flask of hot-pink liquid.)

KRISTOVO: (gets it for her) This? Is this... what I think it is...?

CORONA: (nods) Now go.

KRISTOVO: But--

CORONA: Go!

KRISTOVO: But how will I ever see you again?

CORONA: (assures him) I'll find you.

(A glance at the Society's computer database of the world is all it takes to convince Kristovo she means it. With one backward glance at his newfound sister, he takes off after Amy. Corona gulps the Elixir, pouring part of it directly onto the exit wound.)

(Cut to exterior, the hillside with Baxter's chopper, rotors spinning, ready for takeoff. Amy climbs inside.)

BAXTER: (notices Amy's outfit, or lack thereof) Aren't you cold?!

AMY: (rolls her eyes) Long story.

BAXTER: Where's Martinez?!

AMY: (bitter) Maybe he decided he'd rather stay here.

(But then she sees him running toward them. He climbs in, glares at Amy. Baxter punches it, and the chopper rises off the ground. An instant later, a searing bolt of lightning crackles down, striking the exact spot where it rested. They've barely taken off in time.)

(But it's not quite a clean getaway: A third figure charges up the hill and leaps to grab one of the landing legs. The chopper tips sharply to one side from the sudden added weight. Inside, Baxter attempts to correct for the abrupt roll, but looks up as the door opens and Corona hauls herself into the co-pilot seat. Her gown is soaked with rain and blood, but the bullet wound is gone. She seems to be back to perfect health.)

BAXTER: The hell are you?

CORONA: (coolly) My name is Corona Corrrronada.

BAXTER: (not sure she heard right over the chopper's roar) You say Corona? Like the Mexican beer?

(Corona's eyes narrow icily. She draws the gun, levels it between Baxter's eyes.)

BAXTER: (looks down at her red uniform) Aww, damn. Knew I shouldn'ta worn this thing.

(Cut to Amy and Kristovo in the back of the chopper, reacting as the gunshot sounds. Then back to Corona.)

CORONA: (shouts) ANYONE ELSE HERE WANT TO ASK IT?!?

(The chopper spins out of control. Kristovo dashes to the pilot seat and drags Baxter's body out of it. Cut to back, a door flies open and Amy is nearly thrown out. Cut to cockpit, Corona slips in back as Kristovo steadies and pilots the chopper. Cut to Amy, in back.)

AMY: (on her knees, digging through gear) There's got to be a spare uniform here somewhere.

(Behind her, Corona draws her knife. With one hand she grabs Amy by the back of her exquisite strapless lace bra, and with the other presses the knife against her throat.)

CORONA: (hisses) Now you die, Amy Barksdale!

(Thinking fast, Amy reaches between her breasts and clicks the button on the front. The bra pops off in Corona's hands, and Amy knocks the knife away as Corona topples backward out the open chopper door.)

(Cut to cockpit, Kristovo reacts as he feels the chopper list to one side again.)

KRISTOVO: (turns, calls) Amy! Is everything all right back there?!

(Exterior side shot, looking up from Corona's POV. Amy, now topless, kneels and leans over to peer out the door. Major cleavage shot. Corona hangs from one of the landing rails with one hand.)

CORONA: (evil grin, looks up) Why, Amy, what a lovely view! I do believe I can see the implant scarrrrs!

AMY: (covers her chest, indignant) You can not!

(Cut to Kristovo, who has opened the door to look at what's happening. He sees Corona, but she's out of his reach.)

KRISTOVO: (shouts) Amy, help her!!

AMY: Are you serious?! After what she just said about me?!

KRISTOVO: (desperate) Amy, PLEASE!!

AMY: (resigned, reaches out) Here! Take my hand!

(Corona spits into it angrily.)

AMY: Then at least let me have my bra back! Kristovo gave it to me! (Bt) IT'S OUR SIX-MONTH!!!

(Holding on with just one hand, Corona tosses one end of the garment up. But no sooner than Amy grabs hold of it, Corona yanks it back, causing Amy to lose her balance and tumble down with her. Fast cut to Kristovo in the cockpit as the chopper rolls again, then to the rear as something large hits the floor and slides toward the open hatch. Back to Amy and Corona. Amy hangs a couple of feet from Corona, the bra draped over the landing rail with one of Amy's hands grasping either side of it.)

(Amy looks up and sees the large object above, sticking partway out the open door: It's Baxter's flamethrower! Unfortunately, Corona sees it too, and she has a free hand to catch it as it falls.)

CORONA: (aims at Amy) Well, Amy. If my club wasn't hot enough for you, this should warm you rrrright up!

(Amy does the only thing she can: she kicks at the muzzle of the flamethrower, sending it pointing back at Corona just as the evil villainess unleashes a gout of searing fire. Corona screams as the flames engulf her. Amy swings her body and with both feet kicks Corona, sending her flying right toward the chopper's tail rotor.)

(Sam Raimi-style shot from the blade's POV as Corona flies toward it, ablaze and screaming. Corona hits the blade face-first, and Amy winces and turns her head away as a large splash of blood mixed with rain spatters the side of the helicopter.)

KRISTOVO: (looks on, horrified) CORONAAAAAA!!!

(Corona's body falls away into the darkness, landing roughly on the beach. Pan to the sea of mud, flowing downhill toward her lifeless form.)

(Back in the chopper again, Amy hauls herself back up and refastens her bra.)

AMY: (smiling, to camera, lifting the button on the front) $79.95... and worth every penny.

(Shot of the chopper as it flies away over the Mediterranean.)

(dissolve to: )

SCENE 8 (The White House Oval Office; Washington, DC; Next Day)

(Gathered here along with Amy and Kristovo are the two FBI agents, the Interpol agent, and the rest of Amy's family. Rita is sobbing.)

AGENT WHITE: (emotionless) Congratulations, Agent Barksdale, Agent Martinez.

AGENT BLACK: (same) Your country owes you a debt.

KRISTOVO: What are you talking about? We completely blew the mission!

INTERPOL AGENT: Our undercover agent made contact yesterday, and gave details of your performance and your computer conversation.

(Amy and Kristovo look at each other in amazement.)

INTERPOL AGENT: You skipped out before she could explain who she was. Probably just as well, it's likely you were being monitored. At any rate, the information you gathered will help us catch the rest of the Society... along with Coronada.

AMY: (matter-of-factly) Coronada's dead.

(Kristovo glares at her, barely able to contain his anger.)

INTERPOL AGENT: Well, we'll clear out of here and let you two make a statement for the press.

AGENT WHITE: We prefer to avoid reporters when possible.

AGENT BLACK: (drones) They claim we're stiff and lifeless on camera.

AGENT WHITE: We've been compared to Al Gore.

AGENT WHITE: (monotone) It hurts our feelings.

(The agents depart, and reporters and cameramen enter and swarm around Amy and Kristovo.)

RUTH: That's it! "Barksdale Bakery: Where nothing's as stale as the Election coverage!" That's our new slogan!

ANDREA: That's it?! That's the lamest damn slogan I've ever heard!

RUTH: Oh, blow it out your ass, Andrea dear.

(Andrea's eyes widen in shock. Ruth looks pleased with herself.)

RITA: (still sobbing) He dumped me before we even got to have SEX!!!

AMY: (to Rita) Oh, that's right, Rita! How'd your date with that guy go?

ANDREA: Um... you'd better not talk about that right now. (Bt) So, Mom? Now that all this is all over, and you've saved the world and crap, will you please do one thing?

AMY: (tender) Of course, honey, anything you want.

ANDREA: Will you put some freakin' CLOTHES on?!

(At this, Amy turns deathly pale, looks down at herself. Pan down Amy's curvaceous body, revealing she's still wearing just her undies.)

AMY: I-- (gives an awkward, sheepish chuckle)

(Cut to the reporters and TV cameras, filming her, pictures snapping.)

(Cut to the huge TV in New York's Times Square, broadcasting an image of scantily-clad Amy to the entire country.)

AMY: (very small voice, embarrassed almost beyond words) ...ohh-h-h-h-h my...

(dissolve to: )

SCENE 9 (Beach near Coronada Mansion, Ibiza)

(It's day again, the storm has ceased. Sound of foliage rustling, then a machine-gun-toting Amara appears over the crest of a hill of dried mud. She scans the surrounding area intently, and, spotting something, hastens down the hill. Zoom and shift focus away from her to reveal, in closeup, a hand and forearm, crisscrossed with spiderweb tattoos, sticking up out of the mud.)

(cut to: )

SCENE 10 (Barksdale residence, night)

(Establishing exterior shot, then cut to Amy's bedroom. She's in bed, Kristovo stands nearby, looking cross.)

AMY: (sincere) I tried to pull her up, Kristovo.

KRISTOVO: After shooting her in the back, yes. You ruined the one chance I had to get to know her as a person... as my sister. To learn more about my mother -- Corona said she's still alive, you know.

AMY: Corona Coronada is a murderer, she's probably a liar too. And even if it is true, what did you hope to accomplish?

KRISTOVO: I could have changed her, Amy. I know I could have.

AMY: Oh, like hell.

KRISTOVO: I could have at least tried. That's what you do with family. You've always had family, Amy, so maybe that doesn't mean anything to you, but I don't.

AMY: (concedes) Okay. Point taken. (smirks) But you've gotta admit, the whole thing ended with a really cool face-off, didn't it? (giggles) Get it? "Face-off??"

KRISTOVO: (angry) Is everything a joke to you?!

AMY: (defensive) Hey, what's the point of a senseless tragedy if you can't find a little humor in it?

KRISTOVO: (curt) Good night, Amy.

(He leaves, closing the bedroom door behind. The camera follows him out into the hallway.)

AMY: (through door) DAMMIT, KRISTOVO!

(Small throat-clearing sound from behind. Kristovo turns, sees Rita standing outside the door to her room.)

KRISTOVO: (politely, embarrassed) Ms Rita.

RITA: (smiles sadly) Seems like we've both had rotten luck with love today.

KRISTOVO: (bitter glance back at Amy's door) Yes. I suppose so.

RITA: (hopeful) But the night isn't over yet. It doesn't have to end that way.

(Rita undoes the tie on her robe and lets it hang open. She gestures to her doorway, raises an eyebrow. Kristovo hesitates, knowing this is wrong, but he's angry enough at Amy that he doesn't care.)

(Cut to exterior shot of the house. Slow zoom away from Rita's bedroom window as the two figures step inside and the light clicks off.)

(dissolve to: )

SCENE 11 (Coronada mansion, laboratory, Ibiza)

(Closeup of one side of Corona's burned and scarred face. Zoom out to show her lying motionless on a stretcher, eyes closed, a sheet covering her body. Cut to medium shot of room. A number of Society members are gathered around: Amara is there, as is a tall, angular-faced man who has the spiderweb markings not only on both arms, but also up his neck. As he speaks, we recognize him as the Society elite who called Corona in Act 1.)

SOCIETY ELITE: (again, the subtitles) Es una vergźenza, realmente. Ella era uno de nuestros agentes m‡s encantadores.
[It's a shame, really. She was one of our loveliest agents.]

(Overhead pan around Corona's face, burned and partially chopped away, a hideous mask.)

AMARA: La Poci—n ha preservado su cuerpo por el tiempo que era.
AMARA: [The Elixir has preserved her body for the time being.]

(Pause, give viewers enough time to read the subtitles.)

AMARA: Y tengo dos de los cirujanos pl‡sticos m‡s finos del mundo que vuelan adentro para reconstruir su cara.
[And I have two of the world's finest plastic surgeons flying in to reconstruct her face.]

(Again, pause.)

AMARA: (coolly, to the man) Dudo sincero que su belleza ser‡ perdida.
AMARA: [I sincerely doubt her beauty will be lost.]

SOCIETY ELITE: Puede interesarle saber...
SOCIETY ELITE: [It may interest you to know...]

(Pause.)

SOCIETY ELITE: Una transcripci—n curiosa fue descubierta en el diario de inform‡tica de Senorita Coronada...
[A curious transcript was discovered in Ms Coronada's computer log...]

(Pause.)

SOCIETY ELITE: ...as’ como en la tuya.
SOCIETY ELITE: [...as well as in yours.]

AMARA: Amy Barksdale procur— cortar el sistema. HablŽ con ella abreviadamente.
AMARA: [Amy Barksdale attempted to hack the system. I spoke with her briefly.]

SOCIETY ELITE: (probing) ¿Usted seguro que es todo el que transpir—?
SOCIETY ELITE: [Are you sure that is all that transpired?]

(Amara nods.)

SOCIETY ELITE: Si no... descubrimos.
SOCIETY ELITE: [If not... we will find out.]

(Dramatic pause.)

SOCIETY ELITE: Sabemos todo.
SOCIETY ELITE: [We know everything.]

(Amara and the Society elite exchange suspicious glances at each other. It's obvious he doesn't trust her one bit, nor she him. Then Amara steps to the table where Corona lies.)

AMARA: Ms Coronada?

(Closeup on the damaged side of Corona's face. An eyelid flutters open.)

AMARA: If you'd prefer, we can wait until the doctors put you under... to do this.

CORONA: (weak, scratchy voice) No. Deseo ser consciente para esto...
CORONA: [No. I want to be conscious for this...]

(Subtitle pause.)

CORONA: ...atestiguar el honor del tener centenarrrres de agujas que perforan mi piel.
CORONA: [...to witness the honor of having hundrrrreds of needles jabbed into my skin.]

SOCIETY ELITE: (to Amara) ¿Es ella que es ligera?
SOCIETY ELITE: [Is she being flippant?]

(Corona tilts her head to look at him as best she can.)

CORONA: (barely a whisper) Sarcasmo -- Es una gran manera repartirrrr.
CORONA: [Sarcasm -- It's a great way to deal.]

(At a nod from the Society elite, a tattoo artist appears at Corona's side, pulls down the cloth and begins inscribing the spiderweb marks on Corona's other arm. She winces slightly with each prick of the needle.)

(Fade out and display:)