(Dramatic music swells in the background)
NARRATOR: The Barksdales have overcome personal tradgedy...
(Stock footage of Ruth getting nailed by Corona's car)
Narrator: They've triumphed over personal difficulties....
(Montage of Amy fighting Corona, Amy arguing with Rita, Amy arguing with Mrs Hecuba, Amy fighting Helen)
Narrator: But now... (Music stops) It's time for the Barksdales....To take a day off! (Music: Girls just wanna have fun)
(Montage of Amy, Rita and Ruth getting Makeovers, All of them walking into a bar, All of them running maddly toward a train station, persued by a cheering crowd.)
Narrator: But even while on vacation.... ADVENTURE will find them!
(Montage of Amy running across the top of a train, pursued by Ninja, Andrea and Amy fighting some men, Ruth hitting a man with a gun over the head with a frying pan)
Narrator: And ROMANCE!
(Montage of Rita kissing some guy, Amy kissing some lady, and Ruth kissing some guy)
Narrator: Plus, LOTS of laughs!
(We hear lots of laughs, which sounds suspiciously like a laugh track)
ALL THIS, plus more cheesy cameos, pointless crossovers, and brainless spin-offs, on the NEXT EPISODE OF ABRUPTLY AMY!!!!!!
Fridays, on LIFETIME, Television for Women....