(Shot of Daria and Quinn sitting on the living room sofa, each reading a script and frowning.)
QUINN: (to Daria) I didn't know Aunt Amy was an FBI agent! Sandi'll be so jealous when I tell her.
DARIA: (puzzled look on her face) Since when is Aunt Amy older than Aunt Rita?
QUINN: And Mom's mother's name is "Ruth". We have two Grandma Ruths??
DARIA: Getting them personalized holiday gifts should be a breeze.
QUINN: (shocked expression) Look what the writers have done to Mom!
(Daria rifles the pages in her script to the part where Quinn is gazing, and smirks.)
QUINN: Why are they doing this?
DARIA: You'd think they'd be trying to keep the facts in sync with the ones on my show.
QUINN: Yeah! (eyes Daria suspiciously.) "My" show?
DARIA: My guess is that these people are complete morons who have no interest in honoring the dignity of "Daria."
QUINN: The outcasts who watch us are, like, way too smart for that.
DARIA: Or so they tell themselves. (gets a thoughtful look on her face.) Unless...
QUINN: What??
DARIA: Unless the spinoff team wants to create a show that takes the intelligence of "Daria" and brings it up a notch.
QUINN: Huh??
DARIA: By testing the limits of the "Daria" viewers' tolerance. By saying "Hey, you complain so damn much about how the world is intolerant of people who are different; let's see how you react to something that's different from what you're used to."
QUINN: Oh, like that would ever work.
DARIA: Plenty of "Beavis and Butt-head" fans managed to expand themselves enough to embrace my show's utterly different brand of humor.
QUINN: (frowning) "My" show??
DARIA: And those who couldn't missed out on four -- soon to be five -- glorious years of sarcasm and wit.
QUINN: That still doesn't mean Aunt Amy's spinoff is a winner.
DARIA: No, but maybe it's not the lemon it pretends to be, either. Maybe its purpose is to shake fans out of their complacency over who the "Daria" characters are and what they represent.
QUINN: (scornful) Most fans thought I couldn't redeem myself, just 'cause I dumped three, four... thirty guys last year!
DARIA: To remind them that fan fiction is nothing more than a bunch of fans interpreting the characters' behavior, so no one interpretation is more valid than another.
QUINN: So, like, they don't know that one of us isn't suicidal.
DARIA: (eyeing her strangely) Um, yeah. (Bt) But most importantly, maybe its purpose is to force fans to distinguish between society's true crap and satire that skewers that crap. By refusing to hold their hands and say, "We are making fun of something that is stupid," therefore making them use their brains and figure out what the jokes are about.
QUINN: (looking confused) Those sound like pretty twisted reasons to do a spinoff.
DARIA: (patting her lightly on the head) Well then I guess it just isn't for you, is it?
QUINN: But Daria, we have to make guest appearances on this show.
DARIA: We do?? (frowns.) Son of a bi--!
(Fade to black. SUPER: Abruptly Amy, Fridays on the Lifetime Network.)