Dear Mr. Hans Tojki:

I, sir, wish to salute you for your fine direction in the episode "Hot Head, Cold Fetus" concerning my favorite TV show, "Abruptly Amy". I must say this episode (sniff) really touched me in such a deep way, that I almost cried and cheered throughout all of it. The subject of sex has always terrified me, but after the way you presented it on this particular episode, I'll never quite see it in any other way again.

Thank goodness for Amy! She came through with flying colors when she stopped that --that--(sob) filth from being teached to those students! So what if those poor, misguided students didn't get the entire message? My, er, our Amy is never wrong!

Even the (formerly alcoholic) slut Rita touched me, when she was included in Amy's crusade. I cried out "Fantabulous!" when I saw her come up oh that roof with our heroine! The little tramp even found romance in Sven!

WAH! Poor, poor, Andrea! That scoundrel Jesse got her preggers, then took off for greener pastures! No, wait, in the end, Andrea wasn't preggers, right? Well, I still think he was a total jerk! It's my right, isn't it? It did my heart good to see how the gang rallied around our innocent and saintly Andrea in support at the end! I ran out of my Kleenex tissues, and had to go to the store to get some more during the commercials!

Oh, heh-heh, that Kristovooooo! Don't get me started about him! He provided the perfect comical relief in his fear of Bugs Bunny! I rolled on the floor at his ludicrous antics! Of course, for some reason, I think he would've been the perfect person to discuss the birds and the bees with that dastard Jesse...

And, oh, wow! You got the same preacher/minister/rabbi from the "I Don't" episode in 'Daria'! My God, man, he's the perfect fellow for that sex-ed teaching job! I can just envision what the students will acquire from him...

Overall, another great "Abruptly Amy" ep. I'm becoming quite attached to these characters, who will go down in history as the greatest TV performers on the greatest TV show ever. Thanks for the great work, Mr. Tojki.

Your Show's Greatest Fan,

Geven Stalloway

P.S.: I have all of the copies of your animated Porky's on video, the same for your "Top Banana" series. The network suits should be shot at dawn for cancelling that show! Bill Murray rocked!

Hans Tojki's response:

Dear Gaven,

What are you, some kind of freak? You think I need my episode read back to me or something? Geez! Get a f&*$#%n' life!

> P.S.: I have all of the copies of your animated Porky's on video, the same > for your "Top Banana" series. The network suits should be shot at dawn for > cancelling that show! Bill Murray rocked!

Those better not be those f&*$#%n' bootleg videos! Damn it, I got in some serious s#!t for that! You better keep your nose clean, you little f&*k, or you'll be hearin' from my lawyers!

Hans

P.S. What kind of a dumb-ass name is "Gaven?" Freak.